Why I'll Never Choose to Work Full Time Again

What I really wanted was more time.

I was forever saying "there's never enough hours in a day", "there has to be more to life than this!"

This being rolling out of bed blurry eyed to the sound of my alarm clock that came all too quickly, grumbling good morning to my husband, running on auto pilot during my forever rushed morning routine because I could never bring myself to set my alarm 15 minutes earlier to be more organized.

Jumping in my car and rushing to work with toast still in my mouth,  feeling disheveled already! 

Then walking into the office forcing a big smile on my face while turning on my time to be professional, life's full of rainbows, time to leave behind my personal troubles, bright and bubbly customer service face for the day.

Of course, when lunch breaks came around it was my time to shine while I crammed in a papsmear at the doctors, filled a script at the chemist and grabbed some food to fill our bear cupboards, all which could only be done during this precious hour of "chaos" so I could appear somewhat organized and functional in my life that existed outside of work.

Then back to work to finish off the afternoon shift before jumping in my car, needing match sticks to keep my eyes open, and traveling the 40 minute commute home before barging in the door and having a go at my husband for not having anything out for tea!

Oh yes, the fights we'd have over the silliest of things because we were both exhausted from our days and now, had to somewhere pull energy out of our empty tanks to try and muster up a conversation that you know, keeps your marriage intact while chopping vegies,  defrosting meat and cooking a feast at 630pm (on the nights we had home) or running in the door as your husband is running out to football practice while your scramble together your things so you can attempt to keep fit, be involved and have it all!

So yes, I decided that enough was enough.

I wanted to enjoy Christmas shopping, instead of spending my lunch times huffing and puffing about there being no parks, and I only have an hour and now there's only 40 minutes left and the queues are always so long and omg the bow was right the first time on the gift wrapping.

I wanted to potter while doing the shopping, instead of flying in the door 5 minutes before closing time to grab another 2 minute meal deal!

I wanted to have time to prepare and cook yummy meals that were nutritious, authentic and out of the ordinary instead of our usual spag bog!

I wanted to be able to serve my husband, and to have a clean house and delicious smelling meal on the table when he came home instead walking into a bomb sitte and coming home to tornado kirsty!

I wanted to be able to breath.

I wanted to be able to enjoy my weekends instead of spending one of the precious two days off preparing for the working week ahead.

I wanted more time.

I knew that I couldn't literally create more hours in the day, so instead, I chose, after careful discussions with my hubby,  to drop a day of work so that I could do all of the things that I felt like I was missing out on.

And you know what? It was one of the best choices that I have ever made.

1 whole extra day in my week.

And yup, I chose for that day to be Monday.

Just typing that sentence helps me to un whine from the early madness of my blog post (and former life!)

One whole day makes the BIGGEST difference.

I can spend my whole weekends doing "fun stuff" with my husband and friends, while knowing that the washing and house cleaning can wait until Monday.

I can potter down the deserted aisles of my local IGA, taking my time to pick the juciest smelling rock melon.

I have the luxury of reading the backs of packets for new recipes and going back down aisles already traveled to grab things I'd missed or needed to bring the creation to life.

I can go on lunch dates to the local bakery with my friends which I could never do before because I was never in my town during opening hours (I worked 40 minutes away in another town!)

I have time to sink my teeth into a good novel.

The rest of my week goes by quickly because there's only 4 days to get through before I have 3 off!

I feel organised; with washing folded and put away (not left In laundry baskets).

I can breath.

Of course, there were sacrifices that I chose to make.

Less work = less pay which meant that we'd have to tighten our budget a little, maybe the renovations wouldn't be done as quickly, perhaps I'd have to go without things. ..but what I've actually found is that we're saving more money because I'm using a day less of diesel to and from work, I have more time to cook meals with leftovers so that we can pack our lunch every day and we  eat out less at night time because our meals are planned ahead.

"Well you're lucky that you have that choice" I hear you say?"

"My job would never allow me!"

"But I have a mortgage to pay!"

All valid points, but we have a choice whether we discuss the option with our boss or not.

We have the choice whether we quit our jobs and find ones that are part time (as I did).

We have a choice to sell our expensive houses and reduce our mortgages so that it's an option.

We have a choice to go without certain things so that we can make it happen.

I believe that if it's something you really really want, then you'll find a way to make it all work.

I'm a big believer in questioning things just because we're told we have to or because it's the norm!

I'm a big believer in looking after our health and happiness and grabbing life by the balls.

I'm a big believer that money doesn't equal happiness.

And that is why I choose to work part time (even before kids!); because I really, really wanted more time.

Btw, there is more to life then "this".

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Taking Charge Of Your Life; My Dream, How it Can Help You, What I've Learnt and How I'm Becoming Mentally Fit

How much are you in charge of your life?

Are you a yes person?

Do you make time for yourself?

Do you constantly feel unbalanced?

Are you mentally well, mentally ill or mentally fit?

What things make you happy?

What makes you tick?

What's important to you?

What's your focus in life?

What do you need to be happy?

What do you want, do you really, really want?

These are all really important questions to ask yourself, and something that I have been exploring by learning about Dr William Glasser's Choice Theory and participating in a course that was dedicated to his work called Take Charge of Your Life.

By asking myself these questions I have been able to grow from being mentally unwell to mentally fit!

I've been so excited to learn about his work, and to be running a road show sharing his information in my local community.

Soooo I thought I'd share a tiny little snapshot of what I've learnt from the course with you!

The course is run over 6 one hour sessions.

The first session is called "Shifting Your Mental Model" which is all about how, often in society,  we blame the external world for any unhappiness that we might feel in our lives ie our mundane or high pressure jobs, run ins with friends, tension in families or family breakdowns, the stress of money, events that have happened throughout our life and really anything that happens outside of us. 

This session teaches us that if we are constantly blaming the external world for our unhappiness then we are robbing ourselves of the chance to make change, because no matter how hard we try, we can't make anyone do or think anything that they don't want to.

 Instead, we learn that we can only control our own thoughts and behavior.

E.g.  I can't make my husband do the dishes all I can do is choose to explain to him why they are important to me and to control how I ask and encourage him and how I react if he says no!

One thing I've been practicing is if I'm feeling anxious or stressed, saying "I'm choosing to feel anxious or stressed" and pretty quickly I realize that I don't want to feel that way so instead I say "I'm choosing to feel calm" and low and behold it works!

Via

Via

The second session is all about our 5 basic needs as humans and our quality world (or the things we want!)

Glasser believes that everyone has all 5 needs but that one is usually stronger then the others. 

The 5 basic needs are;

Love and belonging; relationships with people, feeling connected and apart of a group, sharing quality time with those closest to you, having a good relationship with yourself. 

Survival; the need for sleep, looking after your health, preparing healthy meals, exercising regularly, routine, structure and safety.

Power; the ability to make change, challenge yourself, achieve goals, voice opinions, be respected, be heard, and to empower others.

Freedom; the need to have choices, being flexible, doing things on a whim, traveling, exploring new places, time to oneself, not bound by others, independence.

Fun; the need to learn new things,  be engaged in activities, laughter, doing things you want to do.

He believes that we have pictures and images in our quality world's (minds) that meet these basic needs and are the things that we want,  love, cherish, believe in etc. Ie for me it's a renovated house,  to be mentally fit, to have a clean sink, ugg boots, travel, my marriage etc.

One thing that really clicked for me in this session is that when we're trying to please others hardly any of our needs are being met except perhaps love and belonging.

Ie we have less power as we feel obliged to say yes even when our inner voice is saying no (so feeling powerless) and we may not feel as respected because we're often taken for granted.

We have less fun because we're often doing what other people want us to do and not what we really want to be doing.

We have less freedom because our schedules are usually full and we feel like we have no other choice but to say yes.

Our survival goes down because we're always so busy and might be putting others needs before our own ie sleep, time to prepare healthy meals and to ourselves first.

And maybe even less love and belonging, especially for ourselves! We might be spending more time with the people we care less about to please and less with the people we care most about!

So the hot tip here....to choose to put yourself first and to find out what it is that you really want that needs your needs (is needs satisfying!)

Via

The third session is all about relationships. My light bulb moment was that Glasser must think that relationships are really important if he dedicates one of six sessions for it!

 And he does - he believes that relationships are at the heart of all mental health problems and are the number one cause for unhappiness.

It doesn't only have to be the relationship with others that is suffering in your life,  it could be the relationship with yourself.

I was like OMG when I learnt this because when I was sick I kept saying "but I have a supportive workplace, great partner and friends and family" but the relationship that I lacked was with myself.

So many times I would affirm to myself that I was 

"A stress head"

"Worthless"

"A failure because I'd changed my mind on my career path when everyone else seemed to know what they wanted"

"Weak for not saying no"

And much much worse I'm sure!

A retreat I did recently said we have 50000 thoughts a day so if all of these thoughts were negative then no wonder I felt so bad!

Glasser believes that to improve our relationships,  particularly the one with ourselves, that we should use connecting habits ( listening,  supporting, encouraging, negotiating, respecting, trusting, accepting) rather then disconnecting habits (blaming, criticizing, complaining, nagging, rewarding to control (or bribery), threatening and punishing).

The tip here is; before you say or do something ask yourself "will this bring us closer together or drive us further apart?"

The sad thing is that often we use the disconnecting habits with those closest to us, like our partners and family, but these are actually driving us apart.

Imagine if we all choose to use the connecting habits more? Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place!

I've already noticed a huge different in my marriage now that I have chosen to be more mindful of the language I use (although I'm not perfect I still snap and nag but I always feel horrible after! )

Via

The fourth session is about perception and how we take information in from the "real world" (what we've got) and compare that with the our quality world in our minds (or what we want). 

Often when what we want and what we have are two different things then we feel unbalanced or tipped.

Ie when I was sick the image in my quality world or mind was to be myself; fun, life loving and happy but in my real world I was depressed so I felt tipped and tried what I thought was best at the time,  to get back in balance (which often lead to a lot of anger, frustration and disappointment!)

The tip here is to remember that everyone has different pictures in their quality world of what they want and everyone takes in information from the world differently to us. This doesn't mean that theirs is wrong or bad, it might just mean that they have different wants and needs and we can choose to use connecting or disconnecting habits to support these.

Via

The fifth session is all about our behavior and what we try to do to get back in balance when what we've got and what we want don't match.

It's similar to CBT (Collaborative Behavior Therapy) that I learnt from my psychologist in that we can only control what we think and do and this will in effect change how we feel and our physiology (ie our heart rate and breathing).

Ie I can ask you to think about a red truck and you will.

I can ask you to wave your arm and you will.

But when I ask you to lower your cholesterol on the spot you can't change your physiology and when I ask you to get angry on the spot you probably can't without first thinking of something that makes you angry therefore you can't change how you feel without first changing your thoughts.

The thing I learnt here is that if we focus all of our attention on how we feel ie depressed, anxious, nervous or sad, then we'll be stuck because we can't change this.

Once we learn that we can only change our thoughts or what we do, only then we can change how we feel.

No wonder that I felt bogged when I was sick because I could only focus on how horrible I felt and I really didn't focus on what I could do (go for walks etc) or think (trying to distract or change my thoughts) which in effect would've helped my depression...okay so I tried but was so bogged by the illness that I needed some extra help with medication and specialists!

Via Glasser uses the car analogy to describe our "total behaviour". The driver uses the front wheels to go in the direction that they want. Two front wheels are thinking and acting. These wheels are the only things that we can control, and move us in certain directions. If we focus on our physiology and feelings, then we'll be left spinning on our back wheels!

In the sixth session we make a plan to take charge of our lives by thinking about what we really want and how we can choose to think and do things to make this happen!

I mean, how many of us out there know what it is that we really want or what we choose to focus on?

Sometimes it's a matter of seeing whether our quality world pictures are realistic ie winning the lottery, bringing back a loved one who has passed away, etc and just simply taking the think about what it is that we do want.

As one participate said that once she'd decided to put herself and her family first everything else slotted in around that!

She came to realize that, the relationship with herself and her family were the most important pictures in her quality world so she choose to put them first!

I've done a lot of reading of Glasser's work and have been fortunate enough now to see the course 4 times as I work as an assistant to the facilitator and the more I learn the more it clicks for me.

My second favourite quote! Via

Via My all time favourite quote!

And my third favourite quote via

If you're interested in learning more I recommend checking out the William Glasser Institute, reading some of his books and if you're interested, registering your interest in the free course that were offering!

Anyone and everyone can learn to take charge of their lives, not only those who identify themselves as mentally unwell, but also those who want to learn ways to keep mentally fit, those who want to work through some unhappiness in their lives and those who want to make a change!

I choose to take charge of my life everyday because we only get one shot at it and I want to be the healthiest and happiest version of myself!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Guest Blogger; Are you Autism Aware? Our Journey with Autism.

 

 

How many times have you seen a kid playing up and thought; wow he/she is naughty? If that was my kid? Don't the parents have any control over that child? I know I have.

 

How many times have you stopped to think; maybe that child has Autism? I know I hadn't...until I read Peta's story - then I was like, me oh my, I've been so ignorant!

 

I must admit, ashamedly, that Autism is an illness that I don't really understand because I've never known anyone close who has suffered from it - and sometimes, I worry about kids being overprescribed drugs and labels by society, doctors, teachers, parents etc, when maybe the child is just very active, and somewhat different to other children.

 

I mean - what is normal? Who defines normal?

 

But then I read stories like this one, from a mother,who knows her child probably better then anyone else, and who knows, deep down, that her gut feeling is telling her that something is different and special about her child and I realise that labels and medication aren't necessarily a bad thing, and that many times they are absoloutely necessary so that the person can receive the support, understanding, respect and treatment that they deserve (not to mention to help with the sanity of those who are supporting them!)

 

I'm so grateful that Peta reached out to me to share her story because that's what my blog is alllll about; sharing real life experiences with those taboo unspoken conversations, so that we can shed some light and help people to understand the truth behind the misunderstandings.

At the end of the day we have a choice about whether we open our minds to Autism, or whether we remain ignorant.

I'm so glad that Peta has helped with my perception of the illness, and has opened up my mind, and heart, to see just a glimpse of what it must be like for the child, and their families.

 

So my question to you is; are you Autism Aware?

 

 

Take it away Peta. 

 

 

With April being Autism Awareness month and April 2nd being Autism Awareness Day I thought it was a good time to share our story so far about living with Autism.

What is Autism?

 

Autism is a lifelong developmental condition that affects, among other things, the way an individual relates to his/her environment and their interaction with other people.

 

The main areas these people find difficult are communication, social interaction, restricted or repetitive behaviors and interests as well as behavioural issues.

 

In Australia 1 in 100 people have Autism, with four times as many boys effected than girls.

Meet Jay - isn't he adorable?

   Jay is 6 years old and is diagnosed with high functioning Autism and ADHD ( Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) . When Jay was born in August 2008 he was a little premature but a healthy newborn. He would feed every hour, his sleep was very limited and he never really showed much emotion.

 

What a little spunk with his hair all spiked up! Jay and his sister Ilka.

 

As Jay got older he didn't hit the milestones at the same time his sister Ilka had. I began to worry when his words didn't come and when they did they were hard to understand, his crawling and walking were later than most, his behaviour also became very unsettled and he was easily frustrated. He would also only eat very limited foods.

 

  People told me not to worry as boys were slower than girls , so I brushed it off and kept battling on.

 

Jay started kindy in 2012 . I was very apprehensive as he was struggling with toileting still, still wasn't talking clearly, his behaviour was spiraling out of control, he lacked social skills to interact with others and his diet had become extremely limited.

 

 

After attending a few sessions with him I became very alerted that something really was different about Jay.

 

I did some research and everything was pointing to Autism...but what was Autism?

 

 Surely I would have known before now if my child had this?

 

After talking with a few people I knew who had kids with Autism I noticed Jay had all of the traits...now what to do about it?

 

My first step was to see the occupational therapist who attended the kindy. She then referred me on to CAMHS (Child Adolescent Mental Health Services). Both agreed that Jay was showing traits of Autism. We were then referred by Jay's local doctor to a pediatrician. The ball was now in motion and I finally felt we were getting some where.

 

I researched day and night and was certain this is what Jay had. Appointment after appointment and being stuffed around for over a year and half we hit luck when a new pediatrician fitted us in for a appointment...and gave us the diagnosis in January 2014!

 

I remember crying and crying...not in sadness but in happiness that finally we had a answer! It's a hard pill to swallow ,but I had been certain since day dot  that Jay was different and to have this confirmed meant Jay could now receive the help and services he needed to.

 

 

I have been told over the years that he was just a naughty, spoilt brat, fussy, rude, arrogant, deaf, won't look at people when they talk....but no! Jay wasn't these things , he was Autistic.

 

 It explains it all!

 

These comments and judgements by other people used to upset me.

 

I will never forget one shopping trip we were happily shopping and Jay was starting to get aggravated. Next minute Jay was in full behavioural meltdown (these include lots of loud yelling , screaming , hitting and biting) with everyone now staring at us and passers by making comments, there was no way I could calm him in this environment. So I pulled him out of the trolley, left my half loaded trolley mid isle and went to walk out to the car where I could calm him easier. A passer by made the comment that "aren't you going to put that back?"

 

 No!

 

My priority was my child and his safety and well-being.

 

 

During the long process of the diagnosis , my lack of understanding of what my child needed, and constantly dealing with unexplainable behaviours, I myself ended up in hospital.

 

I swore I was having a heart attack with pains in my chest, my heart was racing , shaking, I couldn't breath and my hands were turning blue!

 

No, I wasn't having a heart attack, I was having the first of many panic attacks.

 

 

Going to the shop became a massive job . Pulling up in front of the shop and literally not being able to get out the car. I learnt to regulate myself and I haven't had one for a little over 12 months (touch wood).

 

 I no longer care about others judgements or negative opinions because the only reason they make them is because they aren't Autism Aware!

 

Today Jay has a great team in place with his pediatrician, occupational therapist, speech pathologist and a massive support crew at school. Everyday Jay is improving.  

 

We still have days that are extremely challenging but we live by this little quote " everyday is a new day for us and we don't dwell on what happened yesterday."

 

So next time you see a child screaming in the shop maybe stop and think...Do you know this kids story? Can there be more to this situation then meets the eye?

 

  Please take five minutes and make your self Autism Aware . There is no cure for Autism but there is a cure for ignorance!

 

Thanks Peta

 

Via

 

 To find out more about Autism visit http://www.autismawareness.com.au/

 

To find out more about panic attacks visit Beyond Blue.

 



You've Asked - I'm Answering; FAQS About My Hypnotherapy Experience

As with anything new and slightly out of our comfort zones, we have questions; lots of questions!

These thoughts often increase when the topic of discussion is heavily debated, stigmatized and blown out of proportion by Hollywood films, the media and the things we absorb in our lives.

Like hypnotherapy; I think the TV has a lot to answer for!

Since experiencing hypnotherapy for myself and after sharing my experience, I have come across a few FAQs and concerns from people so I thought I'd attempt to answer them on my blog. Since I'm all for self help, learning ways to become mentally fit and exploring new options, I really wanted to help ease some of the anxieties around hypnotherapy so people can see how truly beneficial it is.

1. Did I cluck like a chicken? No, but she didn't ask me to. If she had of then I probably would of because let's face it, I'd do it very tongue in cheekly as a joke when I'm not hypnotized, and probably even more so if I'm influenced by alcohol. The thing is, the hypnotist can't make you do anything you wouldn't normally do in the waking state. If they could then just imagine the money they could make from the films they could create by getting you to act out certain role plays, R rated included, while you have no idea!

2. Did I remember everything?
Yes, I remember everything that I chose to say and everything the hypnotist asked me.

3.Was I scared of what I'd say or spilling my guts and saying things that I didn't want to?

Of course I was nervous when I first entered the room, but that's a normal reaction to trying something new and exploring the unknown...and then of course I was like OMG what am I going to say? But the honest truth is that I still had control over what I said.  I chose to be open because I wanted to find out the cause of my public speaking fear and I found it so freeing, empowering and weight lifting.

I can't stress enough that the hypnotist can't make you so or do anything you wouldn't usually say or do to someone; you still have a choice.

Like the other day at a retreat, Chantelle asked us to visualize kicking away our negative thoughts. Even though my leg was twitching, eager to literally kick the thoughts away, I knew that people were laying either side of me and I didn't want to hurt or scare them so I chose not to.

4. Did I actually go into hypnosis?
I must admit at the start that I was a little bit skeptical and was worried that I wouldn't be able to go into hypnosis but low and behold within 20 seconds I was under...and how did I know? Because Chantelle asked me to open my eyes and I couldn't!

5. Did I feel weird afterwards?
When I first came out of hypnosis I felt exhausted, but only because I'd faced some strong fears and relived some of the events in my life that were quite emotionally draining. It was kind of like that feeling you have after having a big cry; just physically spent. But it lasted all of 10 minutes. Soon after I felt revitalized and ready to take on the world!

6. How much does it cost?
It would obviously vary from hypnotist to hypnotist with some charging as much as $500 -$600 for a once off, one hit session. Chantelle at Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy charges $180 for an hour and a half consult. I know this sounds like a lot of me, because trust me, we're penny pinching too with renovations, bills and life, but after I had finished my session and delivered a successful talk and conquered my public speaking fear I wanted to give Chantelle a million dollars! As she says, you can't put a price on your health. To feel better, in control again, to slam anxieties and find out the cause of your pain and heartache and most importantly to open instead of close doors in your life, is priceless!

7. It's too weird for me...
Everyone is different and everyone has a choice and I can respect that. Hypnotherapy worked for me, so I can say, based on my experience, that I'd recommend to anyone to give it a go.  I know when I was really sick that I would've tried anything to feel better, and I wished I had of known of hypnotherapy as an option at the time. I can only encourage people to give it a go; life begins when you step out of your comfort zone.

8. Do I have to be suffering from depression or anxiety to go?
No, not at all, people can go for many different reasons relative to habitual, behavioural and/or emotional changes such as giving up smoking, conquering their fear of flying, phobias over public speaking, just for a "top up" to feel good, to help with confidence issues, sleeping problems, seriously anything!

9. Can I use hypnotherapy to help with my depression and anxiety?
Absolutely YES! I truly believe that we're all looking for a way to help ourselves, and for other options to compliment snd maybe even avoid medication, and this is one such option. No harm can come from hypnotherapy! 

10. Can I go for no reason at all?
I asked Chantelle this question the other day and she said yes! Usually during hypnosis something might "pop up" that you may or may not wish to explore!

I truly must say that hypnotherapy is one of the most beautiful experiences that I have had.

If you could think of the time you've been most relaxed ie at farm beach with a cider in hand watching the sunset, with your toes buried in the sand surrounded by those closest to you while laughing, then I can almost guarantee that you'll feel 1000 times more relaxed then that!

Your brain is so powerful; this is just one way of accessing the memories, sights, sounds and feelings stored inside!

I'm definitely on the hypnotherapy bandwagon and can't recommend it enough...especially Chantelle Smith at Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy here in Port Lincoln.

Thank you to opening my mind up to ultimate self control!

Have you ever tried hypnotherapy?

What other questions do you have?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Where do you use your energy?

 Via

Where do you use your energy?

We all have a limited amount of energy, but have you ever sat down and thought about where you are spending this precious resource?

Do you use your energy achieving your goals, focuses and purpose in life, or are you busy using your energy helping others to achieve theirs?

When was the last time you used your energy doing something that you really wanted to do – something for yourself, like  reading a book, going for a walk, writing in your diary, downloading your favourite music, having  a movie marathon or tinkering in the toolshed?

Is your calender scarily full? You know, like you’re afraid of looking too far ahead because just thinking about all of the events, meetings and things you’ve signed up to makes you feel anxious?

There just simply isn’t enough hours in the day – or are there?

Are we choosing to make our lives crazy busy in order to “fit everything in” at the expense of what? Our health? Our sanity?

Are we so used to running on an empty tank and stress that it just feels “normal” now?

How can we live a more balanced life so that we can reserve our energy for the things that are truly important to use, leaving our tank feeling  full?

Does conserving our energy have anything to do with creating a focus in our lives and knowing what we truly want?

If we knew what we wanted, and what we were aiming for, then it may make it easier to say “no” if something pops up that’s off of our course, so that we can direct our energy to where we will feel genuinely happy and satisfied.

If we choose to spend our lives trying to please others, make others happy and using our energy to achieve others goals and purposes, then we’re running the risk of living an unbalanced life where we never really achieve anything that we truly want to do.

Of course, it’s fine to help others, infact, society wouldn’t function if we lived in our individual silos worried about conserving our energy. The point is, that our energy isn’t finite; so we need to decide where it is we really want to use it.

Maybe it’s time to make a list of the important things in your life.

What do you want from life?

What do you choose to achieve in the next week/month/year?

How can you choose to live a balanced life, while juggling all of it’s demands and spreading your energy evenly?

Create a focus, and practice sticking to it; you deserve to put yourself first, and to use your precious resource to make yourself, and those you care about happy.

Via

We all have a choice; and we can only control our own behaviour, feelings and thoughts. If we blame others for using our energy, leaving us running empty, then we're taking away the power from ourselves to make change.

We choose where we focus our energy; no one else does. They can influence where they think you should use it, but you ultimately have the choice.

I choose to focus on energy on keeping myself fit, creating a mentally fit EP, renovating our house, and spending quality time with those I care about.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty

Hypnosis; Did It Work For Me?

Via

Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight a whoop whoop, get down tonight a whoop whoop!

Ohhhh I feel like dancing, dancing, ohhh dancing the night away!

Sorry,  sorry, sorry I'm getting a little carried away  but I can't help myself from busting out in song and doing a little celebratory dance because it's how I feel about life right about now; excited,  enthusiastic and full of beans!

In fact,  the only way that I can really describe how I'm feeling is that after sex,  orgasmic glow, where you feel like you're floating on air, with your heart pumping full of adrenaline,  and feeling kind of giddy with a goofish grin on your face.

Every one must be looking at me thinking wow, she's got a big spring in her step, she must have gotten laid last night! 

So yes, as you can probably tell by my excitement, hypnotherapy rocked my socks! 

To be honest, I was SO nervous when I stepped into the therapists room because I really didn't know what to expect.

A million things were running through my brain;

Will this work for me?

Shit; what am I going to say while I'm under her spell? (She's not a witch by the way lol)

What if I can't be put under hypnosis and I'm just left sitting there like a goofball?

Oh please, please work,  I've got a big speech tonight and I need some confidence because I'm pooping my panties.

Needless to say, my fears were all shattered within ummm 20 seconds tops, when after staring at a spot on a painting and opening and closing my eyes Chantelle said you're now under hypnosis and if you don't believe me try to open your eyes.

Well, I tried my hardest,  almost popped a pooper valve but no matter how much I tried to open my eyelids they just felt like they were glued shut!

Strange....

Holy Shit,  this is actually working!

And slowly (okay so pretty quickly actually) I began to fall deeper and deeper into hypnosis, going back further and further into my subconscious.

What I didn't know is that our subconscious stores everything and when I say everything, I mean every sight, scent, words, actions,  thoughts,  feelings, events and behaviors from day dot; yup birth, and that by being hypnotized,  we can recall these things from our subconscious and bring them back to the tips of our tongues!  

Wait what? Gar!  What's hidden in there?

Via Your subconscious may hide the key to your happiness!

So I went to see Chantelle to conquer my fear of public speaking but what I never ever could've imagined in a million years is that the cause of my public speaking fear wasn't a bad experience with talking in front of people. In fact, through hypnosis, we found that it was the first time in my life that I had ever felt powerless and unable to speak up that was the root for my anxiousness; a time that I couldn't even remember, or didn't even know how much it was still affecting me until this point!

How on earth do I know that this was the cause? 

Jingos don't ask me how she did, but here's what I can remember happening.

Chantelle asked me to describe the feeling I felt when I thought about public speaking.

I said fear.

She asked me to think about the first time in my life that I had ever felt this way.

Ummmmmmmmmm.......God knows would be my normal response,  but under hypnosis my subconscious bought some information to light.

I couldn't answer at first, so Chantelle asked me to look at my hand and to tell her how old I was.

Right in front of my eyes I saw a little girls hand, and I guessed she was around 8.

What the heck? What is happening to me?

 But I didn't feel scared under hypnosis.  It didn't feel odd; it felt real.

I was able to describe the event where I first felt fear in my life so clearly; so vividly in fact that I couldn't hold back the tears running down my face.

It was then that Chantelle "took me back to that event" as an adult, looking at the situation unfold as if I was a fly on the wall.

I had to reassure my 8 year old self, telling her what I would say to make her feel calm, in control and loved in that situation.

I then had to think of the place in my life that I feel the most calm, and loved so that I could recall these feelings when I'm in front of a crowd of people simply by touching my index finger to my thumb.

Next Chantelle had me describe how I felt when I was standing in front of a group of people.

I had to image myself hovering above an auditorium full of people, and create a funny scene with clowns, jugglers, and a streaker and anything I could think of to make the situation funny.

I then had to imagine something that I didn't believe in; I choose aliens.

She made me see that this idea in my head of being useless at public speaking was as silly as the picture of a green martian!

Via

Then, slowly, we built up positive images, thoughts and feelings in this scene in the auditorium in regards to public speaking.

Finally I visualized my speech that I was going to deliver that night, realising my intentions for the speech, and picturing each topic and important dot point as a life raft on my way to a deserted island out in the middle of the sea.

Chantelle taught me that the words in a speech don't matter; it's the emotions and passions that you express as you talk that touch people and will be what they remember and identify with.

I could see myself presenting confidently, with my audience engaged, laughing,  looking and me and reacting to my speech in a positive way.

I felt confident, excited and ready to deliver my speech that night!

Wait what? I never, ever thought that I would hear myself saying those things!

I left feeling quite drained after the ordeal, excited about the new opportunities that this presented for me, but completely robbed of all energy because of the emotions that had been bought to the surface!Chantelle ensured me that my energy levels would come flooding back very soon - and rest assured - they did!

I had the opportunity to put hypnosis to the test that night, as I had been asked to give a talk on mental health to a club in Port Lincoln.

Usually I would be a complete wreck; unable to focus on anything else, feeling dizzy,  unable to talk or eat, heart beating, with a million toilet stops, and while I still felt a little nervous I decided this was a good thing because it meant that I cared.

I practiced taking 3 deep breaths to calm myself and take charge.

I kept a check on my thinking; replacing nervous with excited,  repeating that I feel confident,  I'm passionate about this topic, I know my story better then anyone, I want to do this, this is an exciting opportunity.

I escaped down to the foreshore after work to catch my breath, clear my mind, and to try a bit of downward dog posing to calm my body and mind and then I thought this is it, bring it on.

Well you could knock me down with a feather but I did it! 

I DID IT!!!

I got up and spoke in front of 50 people, and barely used my notes.  Not to brag but I had them eating out of the palms of my hands. They were hanging on to my every word, laughed when I cracked a joke and were even smiling at me.

I could ask questions, and wait for it,  actually listen to what they had to say and could have and a bit of a joke and answer them back!

Andddddd they even had questions for me.

One guy asked if he could have some of what I was on!!!

Another asked how hypnotherapy went for me and I joked saying well I'm not clucking like a chicken and I'm not an absoloute nervous wreck so fabulously.

Perhaps my biggest claim to fame was one guy who said it was the first time that he hadn't fallen asleep in a talk! WINNING!

At the end of my speech a guy came onto the stage to thank me; I think I may have even had a little tear in my eye as he said how confident I was and how it was evident from my body language and emotions that I was very passionate about the topic and that it had rubbed off on them.

And after, people came up to me to tell me their stories, to congratulate me, and to say they'd love to get involved.

One thing that really stood out to me was my managers comment who said "I've seen you grow so much over the past year, from the first time you gave a speech and you were shaky and uncertain and almost lost for words, to standing up there tonight owning the stage."

I can't even begin to describe how empowered I feel; and what opportunities and doors this is opening for me on a personal level.

It feels so good to let go.

It feels so empowering to take charge.

I feel so alive.

So no, I didn't cluck like a chicken and yes, I can safely say that hypnotism worked for me.

I can't recommend it enough to anyone else who is suffering from anxiety or depression, or feels like something is holding them back that they want to take charge of their life.

Look out world I say!

Cheers to grabbing life by the balls.

If you like on the EP, I highly recommend you getting in touch with Chantelle Smith, she is truly amazing!

She runs Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy in Port Lincoln.

Check out her facebook page! 

Look after yourself and those around you,

Not clucking just super happy,

Kirsty x