Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Hypnosis; Did It Work For Me?


Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight a whoop whoop, get down tonight a whoop whoop!

Ohhhh I feel like dancing, dancing, ohhh dancing the night away!

Sorry,  sorry, sorry I'm getting a little carried away  but I can't help myself from busting out in song and doing a little celebratory dance because it's how I feel about life right about now; excited,  enthusiastic and full of beans!

In fact,  the only way that I can really describe how I'm feeling is that after sex,  orgasmic glow, where you feel like you're floating on air, with your heart pumping full of adrenaline,  and feeling kind of giddy with a goofish grin on your face.

Every one must be looking at me thinking wow, she's got a big spring in her step, she must have gotten laid last night! 

So yes, as you can probably tell by my excitement, hypnotherapy rocked my socks! 
To be honest, I was SO nervous when I stepped into the therapists room because I really didn't know what to expect.

A million things were running through my brain;

Will this work for me?

Shit; what am I going to say while I'm under her spell? (She's not a witch by the way lol)

What if I can't be put under hypnosis and I'm just left sitting there like a goofball?

Oh please, please work,  I've got a big speech tonight and I need some confidence because I'm pooping my panties.

Needless to say, my fears were all shattered within ummm 20 seconds tops, when after staring at a spot on a painting and opening and closing my eyes Chantelle said you're now under hypnosis and if you don't believe me try to open your eyes.

Well, I tried my hardest,  almost popped a pooper valve but no matter how much I tried to open my eyelids they just felt like they were glued shut!


Holy Shit,  this is actually working!

And slowly (okay so pretty quickly actually) I began to fall deeper and deeper into hypnosis, going back further and further into my subconscious.

What I didn't know is that our subconscious stores everything and when I say everything, I mean every sight, scent, words, actions,  thoughts,  feelings, events and behaviors from day dot; yup birth, and that by being hypnotized,  we can recall these things from our subconscious and bring them back to the tips of our tongues!  

Wait what? Gar!  What's hidden in there?

Via Your subconscious may hide the key to your happiness!

So I went to see Chantelle to conquer my fear of public speaking but what I never ever could've imagined in a million years is that the cause of my public speaking fear wasn't a bad experience with talking in front of people. In fact, through hypnosis, we found that it was the first time in my life that I had ever felt powerless and unable to speak up that was the root for my anxiousness; a time that I couldn't even remember, or didn't even know how much it was still affecting me until this point!

How on earth do I know that this was the cause? 

Jingos don't ask me how she did, but here's what I can remember happening.

Chantelle asked me to describe the feeling I felt when I thought about public speaking.

I said fear.

She asked me to think about the first time in my life that I had ever felt this way.

Ummmmmmmmmm.......God knows would be my normal response,  but under hypnosis my subconscious bought some information to light.

I couldn't answer at first, so Chantelle asked me to look at my hand and to tell her how old I was.

Right in front of my eyes I saw a little girls hand, and I guessed she was around 8.

What the heck? What is happening to me?

 But I didn't feel scared under hypnosis.  It didn't feel odd; it felt real.

I was able to describe the event where I first felt fear in my life so clearly; so vividly in fact that I couldn't hold back the tears running down my face.

It was then that Chantelle "took me back to that event" as an adult, looking at the situation unfold as if I was a fly on the wall.

I had to reassure my 8 year old self, telling her what I would say to make her feel calm, in control and loved in that situation.

I then had to think of the place in my life that I feel the most calm, and loved so that I could recall these feelings when I'm in front of a crowd of people simply by touching my index finger to my thumb.

Next Chantelle had me describe how I felt when I was standing in front of a group of people.
I had to image myself hovering above an auditorium full of people, and create a funny scene with clowns, jugglers, and a streaker and anything I could think of to make the situation funny.

I then had to imagine something that I didn't believe in; I choose aliens.

She made me see that this idea in my head of being useless at public speaking was as silly as the picture of a green martian!

Image result for funny green martian

Then, slowly, we built up positive images, thoughts and feelings in this scene in the auditorium in regards to public speaking.

Finally I visualized my speech that I was going to deliver that night, realising my intentions for the speech, and picturing each topic and important dot point as a life raft on my way to a deserted island out in the middle of the sea.

Chantelle taught me that the words in a speech don't matter; it's the emotions and passions that you express as you talk that touch people and will be what they remember and identify with.

I could see myself presenting confidently, with my audience engaged, laughing,  looking and me and reacting to my speech in a positive way.

I felt confident, excited and ready to deliver my speech that night!

Wait what? I never, ever thought that I would hear myself saying those things!

I left feeling quite drained after the ordeal, excited about the new opportunities that this presented for me, but completely robbed of all energy because of the emotions that had been bought to the surface!Chantelle ensured me that my energy levels would come flooding back very soon - and rest assured - they did!

I had the opportunity to put hypnosis to the test that night, as I had been asked to give a talk on mental health to a club in Port Lincoln.

Usually I would be a complete wreck; unable to focus on anything else, feeling dizzy,  unable to talk or eat, heart beating, with a million toilet stops, and while I still felt a little nervous I decided this was a good thing because it meant that I cared.

I practiced taking 3 deep breaths to calm myself and take charge.

I kept a check on my thinking; replacing nervous with excited,  repeating that I feel confident,  I'm passionate about this topic, I know my story better then anyone, I want to do this, this is an exciting opportunity.

I escaped down to the foreshore after work to catch my breath, clear my mind, and to try a bit of downward dog posing to calm my body and mind and then I thought this is it, bring it on.

Well you could knock me down with a feather but I did it! 


I got up and spoke in front of 50 people, and barely used my notes.  Not to brag but I had them eating out of the palms of my hands. They were hanging on to my every word, laughed when I cracked a joke and were even smiling at me.

I could ask questions, and wait for it,  actually listen to what they had to say and could have and a bit of a joke and answer them back!

Andddddd they even had questions for me.

One guy asked if he could have some of what I was on!!!

Another asked how hypnotherapy went for me and I joked saying well I'm not clucking like a chicken and I'm not an absoloute nervous wreck so fabulously.

Perhaps my biggest claim to fame was one guy who said it was the first time that he hadn't fallen asleep in a talk! WINNING!

At the end of my speech a guy came onto the stage to thank me; I think I may have even had a little tear in my eye as he said how confident I was and how it was evident from my body language and emotions that I was very passionate about the topic and that it had rubbed off on them.

And after, people came up to me to tell me their stories, to congratulate me, and to say they'd love to get involved.

One thing that really stood out to me was my managers comment who said "I've seen you grow so much over the past year, from the first time you gave a speech and you were shaky and uncertain and almost lost for words, to standing up there tonight owning the stage."

I can't even begin to describe how empowered I feel; and what opportunities and doors this is opening for me on a personal level.

It feels so good to let go.

It feels so empowering to take charge.

I feel so alive.

So no, I didn't cluck like a chicken and yes, I can safely say that hypnotism worked for me.

I can't recommend it enough to anyone else who is suffering from anxiety or depression, or feels like something is holding them back that they want to take charge of their life.

Look out world I say!

Cheers to grabbing life by the balls.

If you like on the EP, I highly recommend you getting in touch with Chantelle Smith, she is truly amazing!

Indigo Phoenix

She runs Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy in Port Lincoln.

Check out her facebook page

Look after yourself and those around you,

Not clucking just super happy,

Kirsty x

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Becoming Mentally Fit; Will Hypnosis Cure My Public Speaking Anxiety?

I saw this and giggled (1. because I love tacos, 2. because it's so goddamned cute!) Via
I'm on my way, from misery to happiness a heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!

Okay okay, so maybe I should be singing "I'm on way, from pissing myself thinking about public speaking to taking control of my fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Anxiety comes in all shapes and forms. For some, it's the shape of a big, beady eyed, hairy legged spider that's best form is squished into the ground, while for others it's the thought of crashing into the sea while on board a plane, and finding yourself clinging onto debris with sharks circling around, that causes their body to go into melt down!

For me, it's public speaking that turns me weak at the knees, makes me feel dizzy, and leaves me unable to think about or concentrate on anything else.

Haha this pretty much sums up my anxiety! Via

But enough's enough! I'm taking charge of my life, standing up to my fear, and showing it who is boss; yup, that's right, I've committed to two hypnotherapy sessions with the amazing Chantelle Smith from Indigo Phoenix Hypnotherapy.

 Indigo Phoenix

Life's too short to let fear take control; particularly when it is stopping you from achieving your goals.

This is all part of my goal to create a healthier, happier me, by freeing myself of the anxieties that are holding me back! I want to be mentally fit, so I have made the choice to do something about it! For so long I have avoided public speaking like the plague, or I find myself biting my tongue and shyly agreeing, meanwhile losing sleep, doing a little bit of wee in my pants, and feeling like I have neon signs above my head alerting everyone to the fact that I'm experiencing a mental breakdown (anyone else ever felt this way?)

I know for some people, they're happy living their life with their phobia because it doesn't affect them on a day to day basis, or hold them back from achieving their goals (not everyone wants a pet snake!), but when you find yourself turning down opportunities, closing doors and hiding away from your dreams because you're frightened into inaction, then enough is enough!

Giggle - okay so I usually grab life by the balls but I thought this was pretty funny! Look out life! Via
So I made it a personal goal of mine in 2015 to face the fears that had been holding me back, and right on top of my to do list was to do everything in my power to confidently give public speaking a crack.

But how was I going to tackle my problem? In the past I'd still given it a go, despite my fears, but felt like I had totally missed the mark and walked away a blubbering mess. So even though practice makes perfect, I knew that I needed a little bit of extra help to guide me along the way.

And just when I'd thrown all of my cards in the air; something stuck - hypnotherapy!

I'd heard so many amazing things about hypnotherapy, like one friend who cured her fear of flying in just 2 sessions. She got to the point where she had crossed travelling overseas off of her bucket list, and started missing out on special events in Adelaide because she just couldn't bring herself to board a plane. After missing one of her close friends birthdays, she realised it was time to take control of her phobia, because she didn't want it to hold her back anymore. She booked in to see Chantelle, and within 2 sessions she was taking pictures out of the plane's window and helping other people who were suffering on board!

Another friend had a pain free, yes, you heard right, a PAIN free birth, after learning the tools and techniques of hypnobirthing! Yes, there's a photo of her in labour looking so relaxed and beautiful that she could be in the Bahamas floating around on an inflatable lay back chair with a cocktail in hand!

Seriously - look how gorgeous she looks and she's in labour...the power of hypnobirthing!
I want what she's having!!!

Clearly not using hypnobirthing! Via
Even thought I'd heard so much about hypnotherapy I still didn't really know how it worked (and just had this image in my head of me setting paralysed in a chair with my head moving from side to side focusing on a swaying watch!)

However after some research *cough a coffee date with the gorgeous Chantelle cough*  my understanding of how hypnotherapy works is like this;

In my mind I have created all of these negative images, thoughts and feelings related to public speaking;

-It scares me - People will judge me

-It makes me nervous

-What if I make a mistake? 

-What if I don't make sense?

-I feel uncomfortable

-I stress out

-What if I forget what I'm saying?

- I feel dizzy

While in a hypnotic state, we take away all of these negative attachments to public speaking, and replace them with positive images, thoughts and feelings;

-I can engage others.

-I can speak confidently.

-I know what I'm talking about.

-I can share knowledge and information.

-I am capable.

-People will respond positively.

-I will feel satisfied.

This helps to take away the power of your negative experiences and thoughts, and provides you with a positive experience with public speaking, so that you feel more confident the next time you engage a group of people.

I am truly so excited to give hypnotherapy a crack and I can't wait to feel like nothing is holding me back anymore!

Look out world; I'm coming to get you!

To be continued....... (watch this space!)

I'm going to share my experience with you.

Have you ever thought of using hypnotherapy to cure your fear or phobia?

Ps I really recommend checking out Chantelle's website for my info! 

There's no time like the present.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Mentally Unwell, Mentally Well and Mentally Fit; What's the Difference?

Question; can you tell in which photo I am mentally well, mentally unwell and mentally fit?
Wait, what? Mentally well, mentally unwell and mentally fit? What do these terms mean and how do they differentiate from one another?
Well, I aliken "mental wellness" to being happy; 'loving life', being in control of your thoughts and feelings, having opportunities to improve your life, still having bad days but seeing them as just that, a bad day and not a bad life.
It wasn't until 4 years ago that I experienced what it was like to become mentally unwell. My stress levels became unmanageable, triggering off anxiety, which coupled with a family history of depression, lead my down the path of mental illness. For me, becoming mentally unwell is your body's way of saying 'hey you, yes you', there's something going on that you are ignoring or not dealing with, that is forcing me to shut down. I am going to make you stop! Becoming mentally unwell strips you back to survival mode; forcing you to re-assess what is truly important in your life. Mental illness is often caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, triggered by many different things, that makes you feel as though you have lost control of your thoughts, feelings and actions.
During my recovery phase, I came to understand and appreciate the concept of mental fitness. Often when we think of mental health, we instantly think about mental illness, but that is only one end of the spectrum; the polar opposite is being mentally fit. We all know what it takes to be physically fit; engaging in activities that increase our heart rate, eating a balanced diet, and a whole lot of blood, sweat and tears! But how on earth do I become mentally fit? Well, it's much the same as physical fitness; it's about engaging in activities that strengthens the mind, so that we can live happier and healthier lives; after all the brain is a pretty important part of your body and one that also needs exercising! Often mental fitness comes from self awareness, and learning tips, tricks and tools to make positive choices in our lives.
So now that you have a better understanding of the meanings, can you pick in which photo I am mentally well, mentally unwell and mentally fit?
Still can't?
I guess that's because mental health is measured more by how you feel and less by how you look.
So I know you're just dying to know which one's which...
ANSWER;  In the first photo I am mentally well, happy and content with life but I'm also a 'yes' girl, putting other people's needs before my own. I suffer from confidence issues, lack assertiveness, and while I have strong relationships in my life with other people, I lack a positive relationship with myself, constantly overthinking things, too scared to voice my opinions and beating myself up about my decisions.
In the second photo I am struggling with depression; feeling low, numb and hopeless. One of my friends literally had to drag me out of bed kicking and screaming to this event, as she knew the best thing for me was to leave the house! While I have accepted my experience with depression, it's still difficult looking back at this photo and thinking about just how difficult that time in my life was.
In the last photo I am the happiest that I have ever been feeling confident, resilient, strong minded, assertive and in charge of my life....why? Because I have learnt the techniques and tools to become mentally fit. I no longer believe that's it's selfish to put yourself first, in fact I think it's a necessity. Everyday I practice mindfulness, I understand that I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and behaviours, I only say 'yes' to things if it's a 'hell yes', I schedule in time for myself in my diary, I make sure that I have at least 2-3 nights home a week, I take my happy pill everyday, I exercise regularly, I speak openly and honestly and I am genuinely happy.
So what caused this big change? How can you too, become mentally fit? Why is it important to strive for mental wellness?
These are all good questions.
I am of the mindset that finding a prevention is always better then finding a cure. We put sunscreen on to prevent skin cancer, we drive to the speed limits to prevent car accidents, and now we can take charge of our lives, and put ourselves first, to prevent mental illness.
We know that 1 in 5 people are mentally unwell - how many people do you think would be mentally well and mentally fit?
After becoming sick I knew that I had to do everything in my power to prevent it from coming back, so I took charge of my life, and I continue to take charge of my life every single day.
I hope to share my journey to becoming mentally fit with you, so that you too can experience what it's like to be empowered, and to feel in control of your life.
So what's the tip to success? It's quite simple really; choosing to put yourself first, and understanding that you, not the external world, are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions, as well as choosing to put your mental health as a focus, will help you to become mentally fit.
We'll explore this further in the next few weeks...
What do you do to keep mentally fit?
Look after yourself and those around you,
Kirsty xxx