Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Getting to know me better, my life through photos.

As I get a little more technical smechnical with my blog I have learnt about "link ups" with other bloggers. 

Today's "link up" is initiated by Erin at Shades of Grey and a Touch of Pink. Check out her blog, it's awesome!

Since I'm new to the blogging world and I'm starting to get some followers who aren't only my beloved proud mum and dad, sister, friends and family, I thought I would share a little piece of my life through my photographic memories so you can get to know me a little better.

I LOVE photos. So much so that we planned our wedding date around our photographer because he's just so AMAZING! (check his work out by clicking on the AMAZING!)

 So here goes.

1. Your little tyke self.

I don't have a little tyke photo of myself but if I did, it'd look something like this!

2. Your high school self.

This photo cracks me up. I'm not sure how old we were but we were definitely at school still. We dressed up just for giggles, went down the street like this and went out for tea and scones!

3. Your college self.

This photo cracks me up! My college self definitely centred around alcohol, dressing up and having fun! Passion Pop (the cheapest wine you can practically get in Australia) was definitely a *highlight* of my college years!

4. Your right now self.

That's me in the middle with two of my best friends, drinking cider on Australia Day last year. I LOVE this photo! 

5. Your furry friend.
Okay so this little champ isn't mine but he's soooo god damn cute!

6 Your manly friend.

This is the kid who stole my heart at 15.

7. Where you once lived.

I grew up in a small country Australian town of 1,000 people. This is my favourite beach. 

8. Where you now live.

We're very proud home owners in Adelaide, Australia!

9. What you love.

I love my sister and just having FUN and not taking life too seriously!

10. What you miss.

 Doing spontaneous, spare of the moment things like JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx


I got the biggest excitement shudder this morning when the thought of MARRYING MICK crossed my mind!


Me. Mick and I. I'm the bride, he's the groom.


I get to wear a pretty dress and Mick gets to look like an absolute hunk a spunk in a suit!

We get to have our close friends and family around us celebrating our commitment to each other! It's going to be one hell of a celebration and soooo much fun!

THE NEXT STEP. The big one.

Saying I do.

Becoming Mrs Traeger (giggle!)

I'm definitely most excited about seeing his face when I walk down the aisle. 

My ALL time favourite part of a wedding is seeing the guys face when he sets eyes on his beautiful bride. I hope he gets a little teary (haha). That would be so cute!

Okay, so our wedding is still 14 months away (October 2013) BUTTTT stilllll..... it's soooo freaking exciting!

I can't wait to marry my high school sweet heart.

I love that kid like a fat kid loves chocolate.

By the time we get married we would've been together for 10 YEARS! Wow!

Anyhoo..I'll leave you with some wedding photos that I'm drawing inspiration from...

Soooo sexy. I think we could really pull this off. Via

My idol. Via

I think Mick would look just gorgeous like this. Via

These are just soooo cute (lol) Via
LOVE THIS hahaha Via
Soooo incredibly sexy. Reow!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Monday, 30 July 2012

To market, to market to buy a fat hen.

BARGAINS galore!
I am going to make a regular Tight Ass Tuesday blog post for all things tightening your belt to save your hard earned pennies on Tuesdays!

Today's Budgeting 101 tip involves making a trip to your local markets!

Markets rock!


One; it's fun hustling and bustling with other eager market goers for the best bargain. 

Beep beep move your trolley, I'm coming through!

Two; the markets have the power to get the good old adrenaline pumping when you hear the sellers call out "watermelons, come get your super round, delicious tasting watermelons." Another one that sets your heart a fluttering is "50c, 50c, apples going for 50c a kilo!" BOO YEAH!

Soooo many bargains!

Three; you know that the produce is fresh and delicious. Most of the growers and sellers are up at the same time that people are getting home from their late Saturday night bender to pick the fruit and veg, load it in the truck and bring it to the markets for you to score a bargain!

These beans reminded me of the magic beans in Jack and the Beanstalk!

Four; the markets are CHEAP. Ridiculously cheap.

So cheap that I made Mick smuggle our goodies into this back pack (all paid for of course :P)

The great market challenge!

Last Sunday was market day in our household. Mick and I headed off to our local markets in search for fresh fruit and veg to fill our ever hungry fridge.

We had $20 to spend. Big spenders we are!

We were shattered when we got to the gate and realised that the entry price had risen to $1.50 per person.

We were now down to $17.

The challenge began. Just how much could we buy for $17?

All of this for $17! You ripper!

The answer?

Cauliflower, broccoli, bananas, apples, mushrooms, chillies, cucumber, capsicum, pumpkin, tomatoes and celery.

Our fridge looking quite sad and sorry for itself BEFORE our hot market date!

Our fridge looking much more happy, content and healthy AFTER our market visit!


Do you make regular trips to your local markets? What do you love about them?

I sure am going to miss the atmosphere of the markets when we move back to the country.

Look after your money and those around you by getting on down to your local fresh fruit and veg market,

Kirsty xxxx

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Unrealistic expectations?

It's important to have FUN and not take life too seriously!
 Do you ever struggle to be GREAT in every aspect of your life?

Do you ever feel like you're always FLAT OUT but you're never really satisfied or satisfying others?

Do you ever feel like breaking down because you don't feel good enough?

Do you ever feel like there are unrealistic expectations set by society to have a successful career, to have a neat and tidy house, to start a family, to keep your partner and relationship alive and happy, to be there for your family and to make time for your friends?

I know I do.

Unrealistic expectations.

 Do we set them upon ourselves or are they placed upon us? If they are placed upon us, then who is held responsible? The government? Our friends and family? Our employer? Our partner? Or society? Ourselves?

Does it really matter if we don't meet these expectations?

As much as I'd like to say no, I know that I let things affect me, and far too often and far too much for that matter. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way.

So how have things changed between now and 30 years ago?

Why is there extra stress and pressure upon people to be PERFECT in all areas of their life?

Why are there more cases of Depression, Anxiety, divorce, heart disease and cancer than ever before? What has changed?

Then and now.

Back then...

Times have changed. There's no doubt about it. Back when my grandparents were my age (they are now 70+), my Nana would stay at home and nurture her family. She wasn't expected to work. Her work was within the house. It was expected that her house would be clean, that the bellies of the people within her house were full, that the washing was done and that her partner was kept happy.

Pa would go and work to provide for his family. He was the sole income owner. His duties lay outside of the house. During the week Pa would go out and work. He'd come home to a clean house and dinner on the table. After dinner, Nana would do the dishes and put the kids to bed. On the weekends they would go out and socialise with friends and family.

My grandparents have been together for 50 years. They have raised 4 beautiful daughters and they are still happily married. I'm not going to pretend that life hasn't thrown challenges at them over the years. I'm sure there's LOTS that I do not KNOW or could NOT even comprehend, but I know that they are happily retired and have been ever since Pa was 55 years old (he's now 72!)

I look up to my grandparents. I want to be like them. I want to be happily married after 50 years of being with the same person and after bringing up a family, and then retiring by the time I'm 55. Don't we all?

Right now...

Even after I phoned my grandparents to hear their story I realised just how much time has changed.

Now there is an expectation that both men and women strive for a successful career. For someone my age, 24, it is expected that both me and my partner work full time. Now, during the week, we both leave the house before 8am and return home by around 6pm Monday to Friday. We both share the cooking and cleaning duties. We cook tea together, and when we can be bothered we do the dishes straight after. Thursday nights I go to netball training. On the weekend we're both racing around trying to jam pack in catching up with friends and family, spending quality time together, renovating, catching up on the cleaning duties like clothes washing, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping and cleaning the bathrooms as well as cramming in sport and getting some down time in there somewhere so that we aren't exhausted for the week ahead.

What scares me is adding kids into the mix and still trying to maintain a clean house, pursue a career, make time for date nights with my partner and pay the bills. Which leads me to my next question.

Is it realistic to maintain a healthy lifestyle with a balance of work and play on a combined or single wage of at least $100,000?

Sometimes I truly believe that families would struggle to make the repayments, put food on the table and pay the bills with a small family on anything less. How scary is that? You'd need one of the people in your relationship to make at least $100,000 to be able to be a full time stay at home mum if you have a loan of around $300,000 (which is on the conservative side for house prices in Australia). I honestly believe that.

Do we have our priorities wrong?

 Are we supported enough by the Government to be able to live a healthy and happy lifestyle for not only ourselves but also for our family?

Why is childcare so expensive if both partners are expected to work?

Why are house prices SO HIGH if the Government wants people to breed, have a career, buy a house, pay their bills and inject money into the retail and tourism economies?

I don't know the answer. I just know that I get frustrated and angry and upset when I know that parents are being forced to place their children in super expensive child care facilities when they'd rather be stay at home mums or dads BECAUSE the cost of living is far too high. What a load of crap.

Has society changed for the better over the years?

Is it now unrealistic to expect people to OWN houses?

Is that the problem?

Should we all rent so that it's cheaper?

Wouldn't that mean that the rich become richer because they can afford to buy homes and middle and lower classes become poorer (financially) because they are shut out of the market?

Or would the middle and lower classes in fact be richer emotionally and in happiness because there's not the pressure to make repayments, and therefore the mother or father can afford to stay home and raise a family in a nurturing environment while maintaining the house?

Does that mean that views would have to change on stay at home mums and females who choose to raise a family over a career? Whether we like to admit it or not, unfortunately these two options seem to be frowned upon in society now.

So let me get things straight here.

Females and males are expected to both have careers, purchase a house, raise a family, have a solid marriage or relationship, pay the bills and live a happy life BUT if a mother chooses to stay at home over pursuing a career to raise a family and maintain a house then they are frowned upon, and if a father chooses to stay at home and the mother goes out to work then she's frowned upon because she's seen as a bad mother, and if we rent over buying a house then we're looked down upon but if we buy over rent then we have to prolong starting a family and choose a minimalistic life while we spread our funds out to pay all of the bills?

No wonder everyone is under so much pressure to be perfect. Society contradicts itself in it's very own expectations.

Maybe, just maybe, we all have to learn that we're never going to keep everyone happy and that we have to do what WE want and WHAT we think is best for our future.

 Maybe we have to be more encouraging and supportive of those who choose to RENT over BUY and for those WOMEN/MEN who choose to be full time nurturers of their CHILDREN and NOT expect them to ALSO have a successful CAREER.

Maybe we need to lower our own expectations so that others lower their expectations of us? Maybe we have to change our attitudes and think twice before we rant and rave about such and such who isn't going anywhere in life, and why such and such is returning to work with a small child and why such and such is doing such and such wrong.

What do you think? Do you agree/disagree with what I say? Why/why not?

I definitely don't know the answer. I'd love to hear what you have to say. How do you live a balanced life between work and play? How do you keep your relationships happy and healthy? How do you stop yourself from crumbling under the pressure of life?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Lifeline Stress Down Day TODAY...please donate online!

My crazy work mates who came stressed down for work to raise money for Lifelife

Please please please do me the BIGGEST favour and jump online to this website http://www.everydayhero.com.au/hubba_bubbas and donate money to a cause that I am SUPER PASSIONATE about...Lifeline.

Lifeline connects people with care by providing crisis support and suicide prevention services.

Your support and donation will be greatly appreciated by me, my work mates, Lifeline and anyone who will EVER use Lifeline in their moment of CRISIS.

You never know who that person might be.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Divorce: a new beginning

Today I welcome Leanne to the world of blogging. I am lucky enough to work with Leanne. She is a true inspiration to women. life has dealt her some lemons, but she is proof that you can turn them in to lemonade...perhaps it's because she's just so sweet. I really look up to leanne. she always makes me laugh, has a huge heart, she knows what she wants, she's living life to the max and she's strong. 

Today leanne discusses the topic of divorce. that d word that sadly affects so many people. in many cases, divorce isn't a bad outcome, it sets the person free. it starts a new beginning. 

Leanne's story.
Me at 19 in 1982 at my first wedding.

Another day at work. Nothing especially unusual about the day I thought.  I sat on my chair,  turned on my computer, checked my emails and then I turned over the old school calendar that I have at my desk.

It was the 17th July. It dawned on me that it would have been my 30th Wedding Anniversary today if I was still with my first husband, the father of my 3 gorgeous children!

Unfortunately, we made only 21 years of marriage before we parted.

When you are young, (I was only 19, he was 18 when we were married) you think that you will grow old together and be relatively happy. You don’t realise that there are lots of other things that you would never think of that have the potential to rip things apart, especially after you have started your family.

At the time, we thought that DIVORCE was never going to happen to us!!! 

It did though and I was devastated that it had come to that. We had grown apart and we had so many arguments on a daily basis but we were always going to stay together.

Besides, we had children, and don’t they say that you should stay together for the sake of the children??? 

The answer is an overwhelming NOOOOOOO! The children do not want you to stay together if you are always fighting and they have to listen to the same old crap every day. They wanted us to separate!

So we did.

I lived with 2 of my 3 children and started my single life.

I had a good time alone for 2 years, spending time with my great friends Sue and Anna , who really kept me sane. I would have been lost without their support, going to concerts and movies and just enjoying life.

Me at 42 in my second wedding with Anna.
I was in a good place at the time and then I met the guy who was to be my second husband. I thought I had spent enough time as a single lady and wanted to enjoy the company of a nice guy. I thought all my dreams had come true.

We started a relationship and it was good. He had 2 children and 2 ex wives! Not really a good way to start another relationship but I didn’t know the hassles I would be dealing with yet!

We married after being together for 18 months. I thought that was a reasonable time to spend together before we tied the knot. I wanted it to work and so thought I was doing all the right things, after all, hadn’t I bought shame on the family for not trying to keep my first marriage together (this is the stress that we are stupid enough to put on our shoulders!)

Unfortunately, it only lasted a little over 4 years! After going through a heap of crap first time around, you are NOT going to take any crap the 2nd time round. We usually do put up with too much anyway because it wouldn’t have lasted 4 years if you didn’t!

We are very lucky to be around today and not in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s or even the 70’s when it really was frowned upon if you divorced.

When I was a little kid I dreamed of having a loving husband, children, nice house, good job, retiring together and maybe having your children live with you until they are maybe 23 and you have a fight everyday because you have to move all the cars around to get to yours (like in that show called ‘Kingswood Country’.)

That was my dream, to have to ask my kids to move their car out of my way so I could get out of the driveway! It didn’t happen and I was very disappointed.

I have now been living alone for 2 years and 3 months and it is fabulous! I don’t know if I will ever trust a man again. Maybe one day I will meet someone who deserves to be with me but maybe not!

Sue, Elvis, me and Anna.
It is not an issue like I thought it would be. It’s funny, I went to a reunion last year and in the last 15 years so many people that I haven’t seen have divorced!

Divorce is sad but life dishes out so many obstacles that you either can deal with or you can’t! Nobody should be unhappy in life and you should only stay together if you are part of a safe and happy environment. Not because of a supposed stigma of DIVORCE!

 After all, your family and friends that know and love you and have seen how your life was affected by an unhappy marriage will always stick by you and be proud of what you achieve in your future pursuits and will only ever want the best for you (and will also tell you when someone is unworthy of you because love can be blind!) A big thank you to my sister and her husband for their continued support too!

Sue and I in 2005 in Sydney on a girls weekend!

Circumstances have the potential to change you so much. Children, responsibility or lack of it, money, unemployment, gambling, alcohol, jealousy, friends who interfere, exes,  children, violence, in-laws, sickness (short term or lifelong,) and infidelity. You need to change your thinking that you can’t always fix it if it’s broken!

Women unfortunately are taught to put themselves last instead of first. We should be equal first with the many other responsibilities that life brings. 

Jason, Nicole, me and Kirsty, my wonderful work mates.

We need to expect to be treated well regardless of what has happened to your partner in the past. We always seem to excuse their bad behaviour because of this or that, ‘he didn’t really mean it’ or ‘he really does love me.’ NO HE DOESN’T IF HE TREATS YOU BADLY. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIS BAD BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS YOU! Take note of how he treats other women. If he is disrespectful towards them in general then he will be disrespectful of you in the future when the ‘Honeymoon Period’ is over.

Sandra, me, Kirsty and Jason.

I am also very grateful to my workmates who helped me get through all of the crap, particularly Nicole, Jason, Darlene, Sandra and Kirsty. It is amazing how much you do depend on your friends at work more so than your outside friends and family, probably because we seem to spend our lives at work hey!

I don’t regret my marriages. They have made me who I am. I did my best to make them both work but it was obviously not meant to be.

Leanne xxxx

What do you think about divorce? Have you been in a sad relationship or do you know someone who is? Would you consider divorce? Why/Why not? Are you making up excuses for the other person at your expense of your happiness?

25 things I want to do when I'm 25!

I'm a HUGE believer in AIMING high, grabbing life by the balls and giving it a good old shake up!

Erin gave me the idea on her blog, Living in Yellow! It sounded like fun.

Meet Erin. I'm totally addicted to her blogs!

So here goes.

The 25 things that I want to do when I turn 25 in March next year (omg, 25! Crazy! How did I get this old?!? haha)

1. Marry my best friend.

2. Get to 1,000 followers of my blog (okay, I live in Australia and we're a little behind the times in the Blogging world so I'm aiming extremely high here!) Help me out the rest of the world haha.

3. Travel to Mauritius and South Africa with my partner on our honeymoon and meet friends in South Africa to do a safari...all dressed in the khaki clothes with a hunters hat of course.

4. Start a book club. I'm moving back to my home town and I'm not sure if they currently have one. I LOVE reading but sometimes don't find the "time" to do it. This would make me make the time.

5. Exercise everyday. 

6. Run a triathlon. This is a BIG call but I love swimming, love running and don't mind bike riding (except the sore crutch after) so why not put all three together?

7. Volunteer my time to a worthy cause. Somewhere. Maybe CareersSA?

8. Make 3 new lasting friendships when I move home. 

9. Continue to create awareness about mental health in any way that I can.

10. Paint. My currently painting skills include finger painting and stick figures. I want to learn to unleash my creative side.

11. Have a regular date night. Every week.

12. Do something spontaneous with my partner. Maybe go shark cage diving?

13. Take my parents for a weekend away. Just to let them know that I love them to bits and pieces.

14. Learn to COOK! HAHAHA! I'm not all that flash. I definitely want to try some new recipes and give it a good old crack.

15. Have a dress up party once every 3 months at our house. Any excuse to dress up rocks my socks.

16. Begin our wine collection. Or should I say, maintain our wine collection without drinking them faster then we can stock them!

17. Create a funky wine rack inspired by Pinterest.

18. Have sex in a sneaky place (hahaha).

19. Have a full season of netball! It's been awhile with injuries so I'd love to play a full season, and be incredibly fit and buff!

20. Hold a fundraiser for Mental Health. That would be satisfying.

21. Buy another property....possibly a beach shack...

22. Start writing a book. This has been a life goal of mine.

23. Study something. Maybe psychology by distance. Or something on becoming a facilitator.

24. Call one of my friends at least once a week just to chat.

25. Be happy and healthy. I know this sounds lame but after being sick with Depression last year I just hope for another year of health and happiness.

Check out what other people have to say at Living in Yellow.

You can play to. Think of your next birthday age then write a list of goals to achieve by that age ( ie 25 goals by the time I'm 25!)

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Why buy things brand new when you can save at a salvage yard?

Doors galore! Particularly LOVED the stain glassed windows! There's something for everyone!

My partner and I are always looking for ways to save money.

Too often I think there's an expectation to have the best of the best, right from a young age. I don't know if that's an expectation passed down from generation to generation or whether it's just our age group who want to own the nicest car, the best house on the street and the newest and greatest fits and fads.

My partner almost wet himself over the slabs of wood...one day we'll have one this big and turn it into an amazing outside area table!
Mick and I have soon learnt that unless you want to get yourself into half a million dollars of debt and fast, then you have to do a lot of the hard work yourself. You also have to find ways to make your hard earned dollar stretch as far as possible.

Our story

Everyone knows that "wet areas" are the most expensive rooms to renovate. Having almost spent $20,000 already on our renovations, we were looking for ways to save some moolah on our en suite for our granny flat.

Handbasin anyone?
Mick suggested googling salvage yards in Adelaide. Within seconds of typing "salvage yards in Adelaide" in to Google we had multiple choices and ended up heading off to one close-ish to our house. Our mission: Adelaide and Rural Salvage  in search of a shower screen and all things bathroom.

We couldn't believe our eyes when we set foot into the salvage yard.


Showers that looked brand new!
There were rows and rows of doors, hand basins, windows, timber, light fittings, ceiling fans, stainless steel kitchen goods, ovens, toilets...and so much more!

It was a renovators paradise.

We ended up walking away with a stainless steel window for our bathroom and a shower screen for $200 bucks.

Millions of windows!

You know what they say, someones trash is someone else's treasure.

We'd found our treasure and for a fraction of the price that we would've paid for the items brand new!

The money we saved was able to be spent going out for dinner with friends (which is much better then it some cheesy sale mans wallet!)

My hunk a spunk with our bathroom window curtesy of the salvage yard!
Have you ever been to a salvage yard? What do you LOVE about them? Would you recommend them to others? Why/Why not?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx