The Art of Doing Nothing

Is this girl insane?

What does she mean by the 'art of doing nothing?'

Surely it's not a carefully crafted, time devouring, thought provoking, conscious effort, happiness attracting task to do nothing?

Isn't that laziness?

Isn't doing nothing boring or a waste of precious time?

Wouldn't you rather be hanging out with friends, playing sport or creating something over doing nothing?

Maybe 'the art of doing nothing' needs to be explained further in order to fully appreciate this activity.

The art of doing nothing means; to be able to sit and do something unproductive, with the use of no energy, and to feel completely content with this state of being.

What?

Please give us some examples.

Okay, getting home from work, ripping off your bras, putting on your trackies, cooking tea, and then sitting on the coach, putting up your feet, gluing your eyes to a passive TV program, AND, very importantly, NOT feeling guilty or like you should be doing something more productive with your time or thinking about your to do list that is as long as your arm.

The art of doing nothing involves not thinking about anything else but what's on the TV and simply switching off but feeling completely content in doing so.

Sound stupid? Sound easy to do? Sounds like your daily routine?

Well some people find it hard to do nothing. Zit. Zelch. Just sit and relax.

I used to be one of these such people.

"I didn't have time to sit around and do nothing".

I would get peeved at my partner who would get to the weekend and would just want to do 'nothing.'

I thought that it was a waste of my precious time to sit and watch TV. Instead I would busy myself with doing the house chores, ringing friends, organising the weekends social events,  writing to do lists, and well, thinking of better things to do with my time to stop myself from doing nothing.

The fact was, that I quickly found out that our body needs time to do nothing.

We aren't machines; we can't be functioning at 100%, every waking moment.

I had to learn to master the art of doing nothing.

I had to convince myself that it was okay to sit and watch TV, snuggling on the coach with my partner, and to stop my mind from drifting off and away from the plot of the TV show that we were watching.

Luckily, my partner is a pro at the art of doing nothing (which is probably why he seems so relaxed, at ease and happy most of the time!)

I had to change my attitude about the art of doing nothing.

As soon as I did, I started to envy my partner who could 'do nothing' and not feel guilty. I learnt to appreciate his ability to switch off from the day he'd had at work, and into relax mode.

Now I crave empty spaces in my Calender so that I can do 'nothing'.

I have created a rule for myself that I must spend at least 3 week work nights at home, pottering around the house, and giving myself TV time.

I long for the Sundays when I literally drag myself out of bed and onto the couch for a movie marathon (when before I couldn't think of anything worse to do on a Sunday as I wanted to be off socialising and going on adventures!!!)

Maybe I'm just getting older, but one thing is for sure, I truly appreciate that I have learnt about the art of doing nothing; it truly is good for the sole!!!

Are you any good at the 'art of doing nothing?'

Trust me, it takes practise and a conscious effort to 'do nothing' for those people who cram something in every precious minute; but once you stop and smell the roses, you'll feel a new sense of life and a revived sense of energy for when you do have something on!!!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

The Truth About Writing (For me)

I find writing draining.

There, I've said it.

Fun, adventurous, exciting, adrenaline pumping, thought provoking, at times challenging, but very much so draining.

But I guess, draining in a good way, and probably because of all of those things that I have just mentioned.

Sometimes I will sit and smash out 3 blog posts in a row.

Other times I will have an idea for a blog post, quickly write it down, and then never return back to it because 'all of a sudden' I feel like I have to write it, and let's face it, when we feel like we have to do something it takes all of the fun out of it.

But, the overwhelming sense of joy that I feel from writing far outweighs the draining, exhausted feeling that I get after pouring out my heart and soul into a post, even when writing comes 'naturally to me'.

So why then, do I choose to write?

Because I love it. Because I'm doing something for me. Because I'm opening minds of others. Because it's challenging. Because it makes me stop and think. Because I laugh while writing my funny posts. Because I cry, and 'let go' while writing my difficult posts (obviously notably my depression discussions).

Because I always knew, deep down, that I'd teach, and I've finally found a way that I can combine all of my passions; writing, making people laugh, sharing stories, learning from others, and educating people about the importance of the unspoken conversations that really need to be said.

People have asked me where do I find time to write?

The answer is that I make time.

Yes, I work full time. Yes, I have a house to keep clean and tidy. Yes, I coach and play netball. Yes I have a social life, but yes, I still manage to make time for myself.

I must admit that it is getting harder, especially now that I have moved home.

I no longer have a half an hour bus ride to and from work to be able to smash out a post on my iPad, instead I drive to work, and I no longer get a one hour lunch break to be able to sit by the Torrens and write in the peace and quiet.

But, because I love writing, and because it brings such an immense sense of achievement, pride and joy to me, I still create the time to sit and write.

So what's the point of this post?

Well it's to;

Show people that it's fun to grab life by the balls and to step outside of your comfort zone to start a hobby that you've always wanted to do.

Encourage people to make the time in their busy lives to do the things that make them happy, satisfied, fulfilled and challenged.

Demonstrate how you can make time in your schedule to achieve your goals, and that you can still volunteer, work and maintain relationships at the same time as doing something for yourself. Sometimes all it takes is recognising what it is that you love to do, and perhaps taking something off of your plate that you don't like doing, and is a bit of a chore, to be able to schedule in that time for yourself.

By the way, I'm not saying that you need huge chunks of time to accomplish things, in fact, I probably only spend half an hour on each blog post that I write. So yes, if that means giving up half an hour of passive, brain numbing TV time to do something that I feel energising, then so be it.

You must make time.

Acknowledge that it's okay, and not selfish to do something for you.

Accept that hobbies don't always 'come easy' and can sometimes be quite energy draining, but, if it's something you truly love doing, then seeing the finished product is always worth your time.

And finally, to explain to people that it truly is never easy to speak honestly and openly about topics that are quite difficult, especially if they are reflective of your own personal suffering. Anyone who has ever written a guest post for me would probably back this point, because writing stirs up memories and emotions, but it also helps you to accept, deal with and move on from the past.

My blog has taught me so much more then I could've ever imagined. It has helped me so much more then I could've seen possible. It has bought me more joy then anything else that I have chosen to do for myself, and, it has taught me the importance of following your guts and taking the time to do something for yourself.

So, what hobby have you always wanted to start, but never had the time or energy or any other excuse that you could think of to delay your progress?

Go for it; I promise it'll bring you so much joy.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

What are your unspoken rules?

Is this one of your unspoken rules? Via

What the hell do I mean about an unspoken rule?

 

They're rules that we *live by*, whether we are aware of it or not! Yup, that's right, either subconsciously or consciously, each and everyone of us has created little mantras and rules in our brain that we use each and everyday to make decisions.

 

These rules were only recently bought to my attention by Gretchin Rubin, the writer of the Happiness Project (which by the way, is a MUST read!).

 

A couple of her rules are:

 

'My children are my number one priority.'

 

'I know as much as other people know.'

 

'Never eat hours d'oeuvres, and never eat anything at a children's party.'

 

Obviously everyone's 'rules' are going to be different but it got me thinking about mine.

 

What rules had I made up, that I probably hadn't even given a second thought to, that I follow in my day to day life?

 

Do I even have 'rules?'

 

I was amazed at just how many I had once I started thinking about it.

 

Before long, my list was as long as my arm!!! 

 

Here's a sample of some of the "rules" that I have created for myself over the years.

 

My health is the most important thing to me.

 

It's okay to say no.

 

Try to exercise every week.

 

Try to blog daily.

 

Don't let dollars and cents control my decisions.

 

Don't forget important dates, like birthdays.

 

Call friends on important dates, and not just text or Facebook.

 

Never blog because I feel like I have to.

 

Always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

Eat out once a week.

 

Have a date night once a week.

 

Eat tea at the table at least once a week with no TV.

 

Be kind to myself.

 

Try to make healthy choices.

 

Love myself.

 

Keep the house clean and tidy.

 

It's okay to fail.

 

Never stay inside of my comfort zone.




These of course, are just a few!

 

Do you have any the same as me?

What unspoken rules do you tell yourself?

Why do I think that it's a useful task to think about your "rules"?

 

To become more mindful. As Gretchin says 'part of the challenge of mindfulness was to keep myself from falling into mechanical thoughts and actions. Instead of walking through life on autopilot, I wanted to question the assumptions I made without noticing' (page 240).

 

Once you are aware of your 'unspoken rules', then you'll know what you use to make decisions and to set your priorities.

It might even help you to identify what unhelpful thoughts and rules you may have, and even question why you think those things.

 

So, what's on your list?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx



 

 

Look after yourself and those around you,

 

Kirsty xxxx

 

Overeater Alert!

Hi, my name is Kirsty and I am an over eater.

 

Phew - glad that's out there (haha).

Via

So, as I feel my muffin top overflowing over the top of my pants, and I feel as though I could offer a spare tyre from my belly if ever anyone had a blow out, that's when I started to think that perhaps, maybe, I should take a little peak at my eating habits.

I started looking a little like this! Ek! Via

Hold right there.

I do not own scales - in fact I don't even care about how MUCH I weigh, I just care about how I FEEL. I am not going to give up chocolate. I am NOT about to announce the latest diet craze, or heck, even mention the word diet (fail!), but what I have pledged to do is to try and stop my overeating.

Yup, I'm THAT girl who, even when I'm full and overflowing with food, really-can't-leave-those-last-few-mouthfuls-on-my-plate-because-well-that'd-just-be-wasteful so I stuff myself silly and put myself into a food coma.

Yes I coordinate my outfits around where we are going for dinner, and by that I don't mean whether I should go casual, semi casual or formal, I mean, should I wear the skirt with buttons, or the stretchy pants or the one with no zips so that I can fit optimal amounts of food in?

I often find myself searching frantically for the green tea bags to make myself a cuppa, which in effect makes me poo and feel less bloated after a meal.

And that has GOT to stop. 

As my partner says whenever I'm moaning and groaning about feeling like a fatty boom ba "well Kirsty, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

For years I got away with it and my body stayed the same old size, but now, eeeek, it ain't staying that size no more!

So, I'm making myself more conscious of how full I am - yes, a full radar!

 And well, it seems to be working so far.

I feel less like a big fat pig after eating a meal and more, well content?

I no longer have to undo the top button on my skirt after my lunch break, or the little zip down the side.

I no longer feel as though I need to take an afternoon Nanna nap.

So here's to PORTION CONTROL (and by portion I mean half a block of chocolate and not a full one!) hahaha I might still have some work to go!

Are you an over eater? Do you have any tips for shedding a few kilos that doesn't involve exercising like a man woman and giving up treats?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Are you a Perfectionist?

Do you find yourself tossing and turning at night time because your brain is constantly replaying the events of the day, upcoming functions and work commitments, wondering if you could've done something differently or if you should change an item from blue to green?

Do you have a near phobia of delegating any tasks when you are the organiser in fear that they won't do the task right?

Do you have the mentality that if you want something done well then you 'mise well do it yourself?

Do you have a borderline ocd problem with checking things a million times to make sure they are perfect?

Do you strive for perfection in every aspect of your life?

If you answered yes to any, or all of these things then beware you may be a perfectionist and you might be so caught up with organising things that you might just not know it.

The idea of making sure the tasks that you are assigned and complete are to the best of your ability isn't a bad thing at all - in fact, it is very often expected of us.

Things can start to become detrimental to your sanity, and those around you, if you are constantly stressing, worrying and talking about everything you have to do in a limited amount of time and you're stressed out of your brain, haven't been to bed before 11, can't sleep and are experiencing headaches and panic at times.

That's probably your body saying "hey you, yes you, listen to me. You never let me (your brain) switch off and I need a break, so I'm going to make myself hurt, so you get the message that I need sleep in order to function. Yes, sleep, you know that thing that you haven't had in awhile. And hey you, we (ulcers appearing in your mouth) don't really like getting food stuck in us and weird creepy stuff gooing out so just chill...let go of things, stop being such a control freak, because man, I don't want to see the salt or ice again. And your bowels will be pleading with you to take some deep breaths because otherwise they will threaten to send through some dirreohea to get you to slow down, or fasten up to the toilet and then slow down once you've emptied your belly!!!

There has to become a point where your body says enough is enough, I can no longer perform at 110% - please slow down and let go before I start unleashing anxiety and panic attacks on you.

Because perfection comes at what cost? Your health. Your happiness. For what value? Do people really notice and appreciation all of the decorations you stayed up until midnight creating, or the report that you wrote without any grammatical errors what so ever, or that you're going above and beyond your role at work?

Unfortunately the sad realisation is that they don't, and even worse, that they might come to expect these things from you all of the time when you yourself are mentally and physically drained.

But the ohhh, I notice thing. I notice that the table cloth wasn't on a perfect angle and that the flowers were slightly wilted and that there were still 5 emails left unanswered that came into the inbox in the last 10 minutes.

Well stop noticing the little things and take a step back and pat yourself on the back for the big things that you have created.

Acknowledge that it's okay that things aren't perfect (this is a hard one for the notorious perfections).

Would the world end if things weren't perfect?

What is perfection in the first place?

Maybe we need to lower our standards a fraction to be a little more, realistic.

Because if we spend too much time worrying about perfection, we never really enjoy anything, we just become one big blubbering, stressed out, frazzled mess.

Maybe the first thing we have to do is acknowledge that we are a perfectionist. If you believe you are, repeat after me:

I am a perfectionist.

Stop.  Breath. Accept your best. Do things that are realistic for the time frame and your lifestyle, do things you want to do, and try not to stress over the little things.

Let go of perfectionism in search for enjoyability.

You'll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

And if in doubt, delegate, delegate, delegate...many hands make light work, and heck, you might even enjoy yourself!!!

Are you a perfectionist? What methods do you use to overcome your ocd?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Don't Be Afraid

Via

One of the hardest things to ever do is to verbalise your feelings and admit to both yourself, and those around you, that you are not okay.

Well the one thing that I want you to take from today's post is that you SHOULD NEVER feel AFRAID, ASHAMED or EMBARRASSED to admit that you aren't feeling quite your normal self.

  This is something extremely personal, but I want to share it with you because I think it's an extremely important, comforting and a humbling message to consider.

When I asked my partner if he was ever afraid of my depression coming back he said "no, I'm not afraid of it coming back, I know that we can beat it, I'm just afraid that you won't tell me that you're having those feelings again".

The message? Those who love and care for you want to help you, in fact, they love to be needed, so be honest with them. They won't think any differently of you, infact, they'll think you're extremely strong for admitting it.

Everyone will experience a difficult situation at some stage in their life, and you would want to be there for them.

So please, don't be afraid.

It's okay to not feel 100% all of the time!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Boobs and Bum Everywhere!

Big boobs are overrated - well, I think so anyway, and I have been rather endowed with large-ish breasts.

They seriously make life, well, entertaining? I'm not sure if that's the word? I mean, getting black eyes while running, having to search through racks and racks of super cute bras for ones that actually fit, dying to get home and rip off your bras to let them roam free and bikini shopping is always interesting.

On that last one, bikini shopping = nightmare.

Here goes.

The traditional bikini

 

Take for example the traditional look bikini ala the one below. Could you imagine having to carry 3-5kgs of fat around by your neck? I mean, that's really what boobs are...fat with a nipple attached! And surprise, surprise, not all women like to get their twins out...it's somewhat awkward looking down and being greeted by your voluptuous curves - hello girls!

Via

 The chest rack bikini

Aka the most impractical bikini for a girl who is well endowed. Seriously, they might be cutesy wootsey for someone with a flatter chest, but just one wave is all it needs to get your girls out for the entire world to see! Definitely not a great idea, unless of course, you attach a halter neck, and then you have the same problem as the traditional bikini!

Via

The bra bikini

The bra bikini seems to be the most practical for larger breasts, if you like your boobs being squeezed together. At least you don't have to contend with a sore neck, and boobs popping out here, there and everywhere.

Via

I found one recently, except the bottoms made my butt look like this (the bottoms were teeny weeny yellow pocka dot bikini!):

Via

So, while this post is written very tongue in cheek, anyone who has larger breasts I am sure, could relate.

So when you see me, or other larger girls busting out this, you'll know why:

Via

 Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

The Year That Was 2012 in Photos

2012 started with a bang for us, or should I say bling?

Getting Engaged!

Yup, that's right, after 9 years together Mick popped the question on the 7th of January in tropical far North Queensland! Talk about a super exciting start to 2012!

Mick moments before he got down on one knee carefully concealing the ring in his pocket!

"OMG OMG OMG it's happening - it's really happening!" (my reaction!)

We were so nervous that we were both shaking!

My blingy bling!

The picnic with a bottle of champaign that wasn't even Passion Pop (Australia's cheapest champers!) Also note the key - he'd booked a bungalow above the rainforest!

Celebrating in style!

He'd packed our bags, including a dress for me! We celebrated over more champers and an amazing 3 course meal!

 Renovating!

We also set out with 3 massive renovating goals for 2012.

1. To build a massive outside area.

We managed to turn this:

It may look nicer than it did, but seriously, it was a MESS!

To this - an amazing outside area with fans, lights, a gable, paving, wine barrels and perfect for entertaining!

2. Turning the shed into a granny flat with an ensuite.

From this -

Into this:

And painting the inside of the house to remove the pinks and greens and turning them into creams!

It was a HUGE year of painting, tiling, digging holes, gardening, shopping and building up our guns! hahaha

Fiji and a Wedding!

In September my little sister got married in Fiji so we celebrated in style for 2 weeks!

My partner, Mick, my new brother in law, Ash, the gorgeous bride and my sister, Tegan and me, the luscious bridesmaid lol!

Not many have a wedding like this!

The pool and swim up board at Sonasli!

Me sipping cocktails in the pool!

Getting all done and dirty!

 A baby!

My little sister announced that she was 12 weeks pregnant in September! Sooo superly excited to become an aunty!

 An Amazing friendship!

I met this little lady on new years eve 2011 and by 2012 we celebrated in style together by floating around on inflatable mattresses in the water at one of my favourite beaches. Getting to know Amy has definitely be a highlight!

 

A netball premiership!

Back to back premierships! A whoop!

Netball trip to Melbourne for the horse racing!

This fascinators, champagne, horses, pretty dresses, heels, dancing and shopping!

 

My blog!

 I am so proud of my little bloggy! I was so determined to share my story with mental health to help others that I bite the bullet, grabbed life by the balls and turned words into actions in June. Since then I have had over 30,000 page views! It gives me the biggest butterflies running into people I know who read my blog and receiving positive feedback from complete strangers! 

I also love love love having guest bloggers and learning more about their life experiences.

Writing for ABC Open and being nominated as a star contributor has also rocked my socks!

There have been many other special memories throughout 2012 but these are definitely the highlights!

What were your highlights for 2012? Did you set and meet your goals? I'd love to hear about them! Remember to not be ashamed to celebrate your successes - you should be proud and pop a bottle of champers...or 2, or 3!

I can't wait to see what 2013 brings.

Tune in for my "focuses" for 2013 on Monday!

Call me old school butttt...

 

Via

 

-I still love writing and receiving letters. Receiving letters makes the mail box still seem like a mail box, and not a bill box. It's nice to know that someone has taken the time to write you a letter, lick a stamp and march on down to the post office to send it on it's merry way.

 

-I still love playing board games. While at first everyone groans and grumps when I suggest a board game, it's fun to see everyone laughing, stirring each other up, and drawing, acting, sculpting, describing or thinking tactfully while trying to outsmart their opponents. It's so much nicer then all sitting in front of the tv.

 

- I would rather read a hard copy book than e-books. There's something relaxing and comforting about giving your eyes a rest away from a digital screen, and feeling the weight of a book as you flick through the pages from the front to the back cover, revealing the words within and escaping into other characters lives.

 

- I still love calling friends just because and not for a specific reason. It's so nice to hear your friends voice and how the sound changes as they describe different events, instead of reading their latest status updates.

 

-I love 90s and old school music. Nothing beats hearing the sounds of familiar songs blearing through the speakers as you bust out the familiar dance moves to "stop right now", Nutbush City Limit, the Macarena  and all of the classics. Bring on pulling silly dance moves over trying to sexily wiggle your bum cheeks on the dance floor, feeling the all too unwelcome wobble of excess fat, while trying to flick your head and jive to the doof doof beats.

 

-I still think quality time is the most precious gift that we can give anyone.

 

What old school things do you love and miss?

 

Look after yourself and those around you,

 

Kirsty xxxx