Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Monday, 14 January 2013

Are you a Perfectionist?

Do you find yourself tossing and turning at night time because your brain is constantly replaying the events of the day, upcoming functions and work commitments, wondering if you could've done something differently or if you should change an item from blue to green?

Do you have a near phobia of delegating any tasks when you are the organiser in fear that they won't do the task right?

Do you have the mentality that if you want something done well then you 'mise well do it yourself?

Do you have a borderline ocd problem with checking things a million times to make sure they are perfect?

Do you strive for perfection in every aspect of your life?

If you answered yes to any, or all of these things then beware you may be a perfectionist and you might be so caught up with organising things that you might just not know it.

The idea of making sure the tasks that you are assigned and complete are to the best of your ability isn't a bad thing at all - in fact, it is very often expected of us.

Things can start to become detrimental to your sanity, and those around you, if you are constantly stressing, worrying and talking about everything you have to do in a limited amount of time and you're stressed out of your brain, haven't been to bed before 11, can't sleep and are experiencing headaches and panic at times.

That's probably your body saying "hey you, yes you, listen to me. You never let me (your brain) switch off and I need a break, so I'm going to make myself hurt, so you get the message that I need sleep in order to function. Yes, sleep, you know that thing that you haven't had in awhile. And hey you, we (ulcers appearing in your mouth) don't really like getting food stuck in us and weird creepy stuff gooing out so just chill...let go of things, stop being such a control freak, because man, I don't want to see the salt or ice again. And your bowels will be pleading with you to take some deep breaths because otherwise they will threaten to send through some dirreohea to get you to slow down, or fasten up to the toilet and then slow down once you've emptied your belly!!!

There has to become a point where your body says enough is enough, I can no longer perform at 110% - please slow down and let go before I start unleashing anxiety and panic attacks on you.

Because perfection comes at what cost? Your health. Your happiness. For what value? Do people really notice and appreciation all of the decorations you stayed up until midnight creating, or the report that you wrote without any grammatical errors what so ever, or that you're going above and beyond your role at work?

Unfortunately the sad realisation is that they don't, and even worse, that they might come to expect these things from you all of the time when you yourself are mentally and physically drained.

But the ohhh, I notice thing. I notice that the table cloth wasn't on a perfect angle and that the flowers were slightly wilted and that there were still 5 emails left unanswered that came into the inbox in the last 10 minutes.

Well stop noticing the little things and take a step back and pat yourself on the back for the big things that you have created.

Acknowledge that it's okay that things aren't perfect (this is a hard one for the notorious perfections).

Would the world end if things weren't perfect?

What is perfection in the first place?

Maybe we need to lower our standards a fraction to be a little more, realistic.

Because if we spend too much time worrying about perfection, we never really enjoy anything, we just become one big blubbering, stressed out, frazzled mess.

Maybe the first thing we have to do is acknowledge that we are a perfectionist. If you believe you are, repeat after me:

I am a perfectionist.

Stop.  Breath. Accept your best. Do things that are realistic for the time frame and your lifestyle, do things you want to do, and try not to stress over the little things.

Let go of perfectionism in search for enjoyability.

You'll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

And if in doubt, delegate, delegate, delegate...many hands make light work, and heck, you might even enjoy yourself!!!

Are you a perfectionist? What methods do you use to overcome your ocd?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

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