Guest Blogger - Beej moves in - and moves on - in the MNB Challenge!

So I’ve made a few guest appearances on Kirsty’s blog before, but as you’ll be seeing a bit more of me over the coming weeks I thought I’d introduce myself again.

Belinda-Jane. 6 foot. Farmer’s wife on the Eyre Peninsula. Trashy TV tragic. Love to write. Don’t do enough of it. Love to play piano. Don’t do enough of it. Love to read….that I do a lot of! I’m involved in local community groups, work for the Cummins Community Bank (until March) and Jade Norwood Photography (but I’m not a photographer) and if I’m not physically active for over 2 days….I go a bit crazy. And that brings me to my guest blogging!

Over 3 weeks in February, I am taking part in the Move Nourish Believe Challenge run by Fit Approach in conjunction with Lorna Jane. It was something that popped up in my Twitter feed the week before it started and I thought ‘now that’s a great way to find some different motivation for 3 weeks.’

So after saying I can’t go 2 full days without being active or I will turn a little grumpy, why would I need to find extra motivation? Because even when getting out for a walk or working with weights makes you feel really good, even when that day after soreness makes you proud of your efforts, even when you gain extra confidence from going to a session and making it through when you didn’t think you could or reaching a goal, sometimes you don’t want to get up and do it again, and the couch calls your name instead. Oh, and this Friday I will be 6 months pregnant, so I’m always on the lookout for motivation before my belly gets too far in the way!

Week one of the challenge was all about moving (as per the Move Nourish Believe philosophy)– each day I’d complete the challenge and upload a picture to my social feeds using the tags #mnbchallenge #sweatpink #lornajane.

Monday was all about showing a favourite way to sweat – as I have to take it somewhat easier than I used to, and the weather has been fairly warm, water aerobics was the exercise of choice!

Tuesday – Mix it up! After visiting www.movenourishbelieve.com I found a circuit to follow and altered it slightly to suit my pregnant body, buddied up and visited the gym equipment at the school.

Wednesday – well, after getting home late and to sleep around midnight the night before, I wasn’t all that energetic on Wednesday, but that’s half the point of the challenge, to motivate and challenge us when we would otherwise give in. So while I watched my recording of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I split up 5 minutes of planks into manageable amounts, it took a lot of will power, I had a shaking body and I grizzled and grumbled but I did it, and I was proud (and slept like a dream!).

Thursday – Buddy Up! When everyone else was so busy on the farm, my buddy was our dog, Dusty. Nobody is ever as excited as he gets to go for a walk, so he probably was the best buddy I could take for my 3km morning stroll for an active rest day!

Friday – Five Fitness Favs – luckily not an active challenge given it needed to be a rest day for me ahead of a circuit class at the gym Saturday morning!

1.              There are so many things that inspire me to get out and be active, feeling good in my LJ gear is one of them, I’m sure that when I feel like I look good, I work harder!

2.              I have a large canvas that sits above my office desk covered in motivational quotes and sayings; some days when I can’t find it in myself to get motivated I stand in front of the canvas, close my eyes and swing my finger around until I land on the one that destiny wants me to be inspired by!

3.              Women’s Fitness is my favourite mag. I also rate Women’s Health right up there, but seem to connect with the more ‘real’ feeling of Women’s Fitness, and have just bought myself a subscription!

4.              Motivating buddies; whether it’s my husband Luke, the gym instructor or people in my class/team, I am much more able to stay motivated when I am with someone who is supporting me.

5.              Location, location, location – it helps when I love the places I am in, it makes me want to get out more! Running around the Eiffel Tower will probably never be beaten for me, but being by the beach really makes me want to get out and about, and there is nothing quite like the vast open spaces of the farm in the golden light of early morning or dusk for a rejuvenating walk or run.

So I made it through this week  of moving and had an epiphany. With pregnancy forcing me to be creative but more passive in my active living, I don’t have to cover 3km in a 20 minute run, I don’t have to try and make it through a set of burpees without giving up, I just have to get out there, move my body, and enjoy my ability to do so. I do it because I want to, not because I have to. I hope this epiphany lasts well after the pregnancy is over, and my week of activities motivates someone else to make their way to their own epiphany.

This weeks set of challenges revolve around ‘Nourish’. I’ll update you on the challenge later in the week, until then – get moving because you want to, not because you have to!

Don't Tell the Guests; The Plan of Attack

Should we start the ceremony at 1 2 or 3 pm?

Do we want photos before or after the ceremony?

How will our guests entertain themselves between the ceremony and reception?

Do we want a single venue so that everyone can rock up and relax over the night and day or do we want separate locations and how will people commute between the two?

What time should we start the reception  festivities?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

So what did we decide?

Right from the very beginning we were determined to spend as much time with everyone on the wedding guest list and not just the bridal party. To us, everyone was equally as special and so many people were traveling from far and wide to spend our day with us.... so how did we overcome this?

We decided to hold our ceremony at 2 pm. This meant that we didn't have to be up at the crack of dawn to begin beautifying ourselves as neither of us are morning people and nor would we be sitting around twiddling our thumbs waiting for the formalities to begin.

7 am 10 girls piled into my bed to share the excitement that today was the day that I was going to become a wifey!!!

Being glamorised! 

Putting on my dress!

My gorgeous girls having their make up done out on the balcony.

My gorgeous dress!

Champagne breakfast!

10 am boys woke up, cooked bacon and eggs, kicked the footy and consumed a few sneaky beverages.

Mick seeming cool calm and collected!

Bacon and beer was the boys breakfast! 

The boys getting ready!

Thanks to our entourage of hairdressers and make up artists me and my 10 girls had time to fluff around, stuff our faces, pop some champagne, take photos and arrive  unfashionably early to the ceremony.

On our way to the ceremony.

2pm ceremony

2 45 pm mingling with friends and family capturing  special memories with everyone

After the ceremony, my husband and I choose to hang around celebrating with our friends and family instead of dashing off to have photos. It meant that we had the opportunity to cuddle, greet, owwww and ahhh over the day, chat and thank those who came to share the day with us.

Friends and family kindly baked afternoon tea goodies and the bar was open so that everyone could enjoy a few sneaky beverages out in the sun overlooking the winery and beautiful views of Boston Bay.

4 30 pm  sneaking off for some quality time

We spent two and a half hours mingling before mick and I snuck off for some photos amongst the grapevines with our photographer. It was so incredibly special to share these precious moments together giggling about the fact that it was our wedding day and we were now husband and wife. I'm so grateful that we had the chance to share some cuddles, kisses and moments pausing and taking in the atmosphere and love of our day.

5 pm bridal party fun

Then, the bridal party joined us for some fabulous photographic shots along with the  accompanying Esky full of cold beverages.

The time didn't feel rushed nor stressful it was just good old plain fun mucking around with shots of the boys lifting me up and the girls lifting mick up!

6 10 pm

Before we knew it, the clock had passed 6 pm and we were officially late to our own party!!!

1 00 am....

I'll save the reception for another blog post.

I'm so incredibly grateful that none of the day felt rushed or stressful. The sun seems to set soon after it rises on the day as it is, so I couldn't imagine having to rush around to multiple locations to capture the perfect shots and missing the opportunity to actually soak in the day through your eyes and not through the lens of a camera.

Every body is going to choose a different plan of attack for their day. A wedding we were lucky enough to share recently had the ceremony and reception at the same location which was fabulous because you didn't have to rush around between venues, worrying about who was being sober driver, running late or missing any of the formalities. Everyone was so relaxed that we all had beverages in our hands during the ceremony to celebrate the newly married couple early on in the day!!!

Some things to consider is how your guests are going to commute between venues, how much time you want to spend taking photos, whether you choose one venue or two and if you are going to provide entertainment between the ceremony and reception.

You must do what you want. You know what's important to you.

My biggest advice would be to try not to choose too many destinations or venues to rush between. It's on a rare occasion that you have everyone you truly care about in one location so you'll want to try and spend every moment soaking it in with them.

Look after yourself and those around you, 

Kirsty xxxx

Missing the Person You Live With

Via

Nothing confirms just how crazy busy life gets when you miss the person you live with.

Between full time work,  creating some kind of fitness routine,  playing sport, secret mens business,  girly date nights,  family dinners,  knock off beverages, sporting commitments,  committee meetings,  odd jobs helping others and travelling to and fro from destination to destination, sometimes the first time you get to chat with your partner for the day is when you flop into bed and by that time you're counting how many hours sleep you'll have to be able repeat the routine again tomorrow and you feel like you'll snap, burst into tears, or explode if you have to exert any more energy!

Not to mention rumpy pumpy - heck - if you don't have the time and energy to talk - how are you meant to vanish your clothes and play hanky panky under the sheets?

No talking - no sex - no happiness? 

Over a long period of time you can see how couples "drift apart"and "lose their flame".

Think back to when you first started dating and how sickly inseparable you were because you just couldn't get enough of one another.

What has changed? 

I'm sure it's not that you love the person any less, it's just that over time, and probably without you even knowing, other events and people have started using up your energy, and while you'd love to get home and chat, laugh and release some pent up stress on the workbench, you find yourself totally and utterly exhausted and comfortable with saying goodnight and rolling over to bunch out some z's. 

Crazy.

How is it that life has become so busy that you can almost live life simultaneously under the same roof? 

Why is it now that we feel compelled to fill not only our weekends, but also our week nights with events, meetings and commitments outside of the house which prevent us from spending good old quality couch time with our partners?

How are you meant to maintain a home, career, fitness and your relationships while still leaving time for yourself?

Crazy.

Do we try to do too much?

Are we wasting precious quality time with loved ones when we're connecting with the virtual world?

Are we so exhausted from life that when we finally arrive home we re too tired for conversation with our partner?

How can we slow down our lives?

This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

I feel happy, content and relaxed when I have spent enough quality time with my husband. It doesn't matter if we're not crazy balls of energy when we're around each other, I just like being near him, even just if it's sitting next to each other while we watch tv.

Even the monotonousness questions like how was your day become special, and my life feels much more balanced when we're on the same page because we've had the opportunity to chat about our crazy ideas, thoughts and emotions.

And nothing beats having FUN with your partner, laughing and creating new memories!

I hate when we get to a Sunday night and I'm like "hello stranger, how has your week been?"

There's nothing worse then finding out something about your partner because you've been too busy to ask a simple "how are you?"or "what have you been up to?"

Am I alone in feeling this way?

Do you struggle with the lack of quality time that you spend with your partner?

Sometimes our partners happen to come last, because let's face it, we believe that they will always be there, but the truth is, we need to invest as much, if not more time, love and energy into our relationship with them than with anyone else - for your own life is grounded and based on our ability to communicate and work as a team.

You don't want to end up losing the thing you valued the most because you neglected their needs and to hear their voice because it was shut out and clouded by the other conversations and commitments in your life.

It's a horrible feeling when you say to friends that you just want to spend time with your partner and they're like "but you live with them - aren't you sick of them?" That's when you have verbal diarrhoea explaining how busy your life is and how you rarely find time to spend together. 

So along the way, my partner and I have introduced a couple little tools to spend more time together.

Via

So what are some tips and tricks that I have found along the way that help to create quality time with my partner?

With both partners often working full time it is difficult to have energy for everything else.  Full time work is exhausting plus the time commuting to and from work.  Should we be making better use of our lunch breaks for exercising so that by the time we arrive home we've worked,  exercised and then we can unwhinde?

Date nights are great for scheduling in time together outside of the distractions of the house and to be able to enjoy each others company and to let the conversation flow.

Having an outside area and table is also fabulous to avoid plonking yourselves in front of the TV with your stable table carefully balanced on your knee as you devour your meal while engrossed in the effortless task of watching TV.

Banning technology inside of the bedroom or for an hour a night can allow your attention to remain in the moment with your partner to see how their day was.

Being mindful of creating the time and giving your full attention to your partner also makes them feel loved and special.

If you have tasks to complete like writing up the minutes from a meeting or paying bills or writing a blog post then sitting side by side in the same room touching can give you the essence of closeness without actually engaging with each other.

We are by far, no where near pros at spending quality time together. Infact, people have been asking how the "honeymoon period"is going since we've only been married for 4 months and I almost feel like we're too worn out and overcommitted to other projects to spend good old quality time together.

Thank god for our honeymoon - that's all I can say!

Your partner and their happiness should come first.

If you are worried about the amount of time you have been spending together then maybe it's time to look at your plates and see what you can take off, so that your partner gets a larger serving of the pie!

Do you have any helpful tips that can help others who have lost their "flame"or are struggling to fit each other into their calenders?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Dealing with Grief - Have you Ever Thought to Write a Letter?

Grief is such a heavy, devouring emotion that takes time to accept that the person's time on Earth has come to an end. Everyone deals with grief differently. It was wonderful to hear about how Simone's friends were working through their grief and hopefully their idea might help someone else out there going through a difficult time after losing someone they care about.  I never knew Simone - but I remember hearing of her passing and thinking about how heartbreaking it must be for those around her. You could tell from the photos that she was a beautiful person both on the inside and outside, and she had found a sport that truly bought her happiness and had a daughter who she loved so deeply.

Thank you to Elise for sharing your story so bravely - what a beautiful way to remember your dear friend.

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The realisation of Simone's death took some hours to sink in. It all hit home when I began remembering back to the last time we spoke, my favourite memories of her and the times we spent together - dressing up, singing, playing games, sleepovers and birthday parties. 

A short time after her death, Simone's closest friends received a email from Ebony, with the idea of writing a letter to Simone's daughter Kodah for her to read as she grows up. It would be our way to share our memories of Simone with Kodah, so that she would keep a clear vision of her mum, and the beautiful person that she was, forever in her mind. I wanted to share my letter with other people to tell them about Simone and what an amazing person she was. 

So, here is my 'letter to Kodah' 

Elise 

Forever in my thoughts and never to be forgotten SM, CF and KM xxx

A letter to Kodah

Two beautiful girls; Elise and Simone

Kodah, I have so many memories of your wonderful mum and I have no idea of where to start! All I know is that every time I look to the night sky, I can see her glowing star looking down on us all. She was an amazing friend – so thoughtful and compassionate. I think why we got on so well was because we were so much alike and as silly as each other most of the time!

“You will look back on the times you laughed and you will cry. You will look back on the times you cried, and you will laugh. You will always remember close friends, and you will always keep memories of them in your heart.”

Even though we never saw a lot of each other in her last few years, it still felt like old times when we caught up! Most of our conversations were about the mischief we would get up to when we were younger. At the Chilpanunda farm ‘Wallaby Hill’ we would regularly have dancing and singing competitions with Kelly and Brooke to ‘Roxette’ and only Roxette – no other music was allowed! We would quickly get sick of Roxette, find another cassette tape player and blare our own music singing ‘Hey Mona.’ This was no doubt our favourite song of all time, I was just so disappointed ‘Fur Elise’ didn’t have lyrics! Every Sunday we would all go to Pony Club. I never even had a horse but we would be there anyway! Melissa was usually there too but we would spend more time building cubby houses in the scrub. I think our Dad’s (Greg and Pop) just saw it as another excuse to have a chin wag and a beer together and Sunday morning Pony Club’s would often turn into Sunday afternoon and evening Pony Club!

Simone and her beautiful daughter Kodah

As I write you this letter, I am laughing about the funny memories of times we had together as youngsters but at the same time I am crying because I realise that we won’t be able to make any more memories together or talk about them even more. The last time I saw your mum was at Travis & Kelly’s wedding and when I was living in Northern Territory before that. You were just a very little girl! It was when you were and mum were living at the Caravan Park with Nana and Pop. She was so happy to have moved to Darwin to start riding again and to have Pop and Nana close by to look after you when she was working.

Your mum was so gullible! She would believe any story you told her! Actually we were probably as gullible as each other and would play tricks on each other quite often. We would both say things without thinking first. At times, we were the laughing stock of the cousins and friends. I still often have a ‘Simone moment’ as we have come to call them! I’m not sure that she made jokes on purpose; they just seemed to be accidental ‘blonde’ moments!

I actually can’t believe how much you are like your mum to look at – you are just a spitting image! Your ‘show no teeth’ smile, dark eyes, eyebrows and hair. I think you might be a little cheekier than your mum was though!

Isn't Simone just absolutely stunning!

“Simone is a girl who is fun to be around and talk to and has a good sense of humour and loves to make jokes. She can be quiet sometimes but it doesn’t mean she isn’t up for having fun. She is practically the best person in the world.”

I probably spent the most time with your mum when Pop, Nana and the girls moved to Port Lincoln. My family had moved to Cummins not long after that, so it was nice to head down to Lincoln after school on Fridays to catch up with Simone and your aunties. Simone and I were always fashion stylists and we would dress up Luke and Mardi. Kelly would just hassle us to play the ‘Sale of the Century’ board game with her! Ebony was also living in Port Lincoln at this time, so our Saturday nights or Sunday drives often ended up resulting in a catch up with the Feltus and Mont Families.

We also had a lot more fun times when they all moved to Ungarra. We were at their Ungarra farmhouse one Sunday, and Pop had just put up some electric fences for his racehorses.  Simone told me the electric fence wasn’t turned on, and of course I believed her! As I climbed through the fence to pat the horse, the fence zapped me on my hands when I grabbed it and then on the inside of my leg! She laughed the hardest I think I can ever remember her laughing. Since then I have always been extra careful around fences, especially electric ones!

A family adventure down the River Murray as kids.

A favourite memory of mine was when we went on a houseboat along the River Murray, from Morgan to Waikerie. I was 18 so Simone would have been about 16. Then there was Dillon (15), Mardi (14) Luke (14) and Cameron (12) and all of our parents – Jeff, Rosalie, Greg, Debbie, Peter and Lee-Anne. You will have to ask Nana and Pop to show you some photos. They will have a story or two to tell you about this holiday I am sure!

Kodah, your mum will never be forgotten - a life taken too soon, a tragedy that we could have never predicted happening. She will always be your beautiful, caring and loving mum. She was compassionate, considerate and a loyal friend to all. I loved growing up with your mum. She was a breath of fresh air; a joy to be around. I hope to see many of her qualities in you as you grow up into an amazing young lady. There’s a song that says ‘Only the good die young’. If we were changing the words to suit your mum it would have to say ‘Only the extraordinary die young’!

Elise xx

               

Friends are like stars, they come and go.

                But the ones that stay are the ones that glow!

Simone always had a great passion for horses.