I'm so proud of myself. There I said it, and if it makes me vein, lame, boastful, gloat full, up myself, blowing my own trumpet or whatever other negative connotations that society seems to place upon people who opening share their successes no matter how big or small with others then so be it.
I am proud because just over 2 weeks ago I made the agonizing decision to start reducing my depression medication and I am fine!!!
I haven't collapsed into a heap, or lost my mind, or started slipping back into that terrifying downward spiral into a lonely and dark pit, no I am fine, strong and bless my cotton socks happy.
If only I could express to my readers my immense joy, relief and happiness in writing that last paragraph because there were times when I could never ever imagine myself making the decision to start reducing my medication let alone be doing okay with it.
I must admit it hasn't been all smooth sailing, in fact for the first ten days I felt all of the symptoms that I would associate with pregnancy; the need to eat first thing in the morning to stop the nausea and to continue to keep my belly full throughout the day, head spins, dizziness, headachey and of course a heightened awareness of my breathing, thinking and behavior; I was literally on the prowl for any rapid changes.
But thankfully to my surprise and because of my persistence and ability to rationalize my symptoms, within ten days these horrible feelings subsided.
On this day I messaged those closest to me to share my joy and gratefulness; my confidence started to grow in my ability to cope with the reduction of my medication which wasallowing my body to reproduce the chemical that aided in my sickness in the first place; serotonin.
By no means am I going to become cocky or ever fully believe that I am free from the grips of depression but I can smile knowing that I am managing with life and it's many challenges at the same time as removing my security blanket over the past three years.
One thing that I have been abit naughty on is booking an appointment to discuss my progress with my doctor, it has been on my very long to do list, but today might just be the day that it reaches top priority.
Where to from here?
Book an appointment with my doctor.
Continue taking 50 mg one day and 100 mg the next.
Stay in regular contact with my doctor.
Continue to monitor my moods, behavior and thoughts.
How did you go reducing your medication?
Look after yourself and those around you,
Kirsty xxx
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