Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Male Flatulence

Now I'm not going to pretend that females blow out little rose scented love puffs from their backsides; yes, we do fluff too, but boy oh boy, no matter whether we eat the same food or not, boys seem to fart all of the time, in the most inappropriate places, and sometimes you end up dry reaching!

Not to mention the beloved dutch ovens. No matter how old guys seem to get, they never seem to understand that a female, under no circumstances, finds it cute, amusing or mildly entertaining when you decide to let one rip and then pull the covers over her face in hope of suffocating her in your poo particles.

Nor will she ever find it funny when you let one go at the dinner table, just as her taste buds are salivering as she almost reaches her lips with her meal on her fork and then you decide to pop one out and end up making her eyes water instead!

No matter what you said, you can hold it in, and no it's not always better out then in.

There a times and places for popping off.

Let them go, let them out and go on and shake them out when you are at work amongst the lads in the shed, or hold them in and pretend to bomb battle ships on the toilet, but please don't bring them into the bedroom or around the dinner table...

Which brings me to the next point...the dreaded confined spaces.

Especially the dreaded confined spaces when the male is driving and has control over the power window lock - or all of a sudden, driving along, minding your own business and your partner windes down your window and let's one rip so that all of the heavily loaded poo particle ordours get sucked like a vacuum past your nose and out your window.

One day we secretly hope that you push a little too hard and shart...but then, at the same time, it'd be us that end up washing out the jocks!!!

So whether you call it farting, popping off, blowing love puffs, fluffing, popping, blowing, tooting, letting rip or any other name, letting go of wind is one thing that you should keep to yourself.

As ladies we're constantly told that nothing smells better then your own home brew, so why don't you go find a quiet space and take it all in...alone, by yourself, hey presto!!!

Have you ever been dutch ovened?

Do you think it's appropriate to let one go at the dinner table?

Is it okay to fart around your partner?

Okay okay, so I'm no princess or angel, and I also pop every now and again, but usually I can pick the time and place (just don't ask my best friends about my hens night!) haha

Very tongue in cheek of course, and I guess it's the "joys" of being "comfortable" with someone!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx


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