Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Saturday 17 May 2014

A Career, A House and A Family

A successful career,  owning your own home and nurturing a family; is it all possible?

How do people find a balance between all three?

We live in a time where it is expected that both genders participate in the workforce.

Just like once upon a time everyone expected that women wanted nothing more then to be the stay at home domestic goddess for their family;  people now expect that you will attend school,  finish year 12, complete tertiary education and chase the fulfillment of a career and rising through the corporate ladder.

To aspire to being a stay at home mother at a young age can be mistaken for having no direction and real aspirations in life.

But,  this is where things become even more trickier; while chasing your career at some stage you are still expected to start a family.

The age at which society accepts that you're ripe and ready for child bearing is a grey area;  under 25 and you haven't given your career enough energy but over 30 and you're womb is a ticking time bomb.

Add in the great Australian dream to be a home owner and BAM you have a financial confliction between paying a mortgage,  raising a family and chasing that career satisfaction and acknowledgement.

Can you own a house, be a full time mummy and have a career?

Is it financially viable?

Is it emotionally tolerable?

Who does it benefit in the long run?

With the average mortgage tipping $400,000 plus in Australia,  repayments are roughly $1500 a month, plus bills,  food and a lifestyle;  can you really do it all on one wage so that the wife or husband can stay home full time to care for their children?

Is it easier to rent and raise a family so that you don't encounter the financial burden of a mortgage?  But then again,  rent is expensive too.

Is the primary caregiver being forced back into work places just to be able to make ends meet?

Something has to give.

The house?  The career? The family?

Do you manage on one wage to support a growing family but go through life living on the bare essentials?

Do both parents work which inevitably means less time and energy with your children and more pressure to run a home,  juggle work,  pick ups,  drop offs, social calenders and last but not least your relationship and Foundation for it all?

There's little wonder that people are so stressed when being torn to decide when is the right time to start a family,  having to juggle finances with family commitments and everything in between.

But what's the alternative?

You ship your husband off to the mines to earn the big bucks while you become a single mother for the time they're away?

You rent for life?

You don't have children?

You struggle from pay cheque to pay cheque?

You both work?

To live the life society now expects something has to be sacrificed.

Again and again we see marriages break down because people simply don't have the time and energy nor finances to have it all.

Is having a family a financial burden?

Society appears to be making it that way.

It's stay at home on one wage to raise your children or both work and put children in super expensive childcare to pay the bills.

Some would say well then don't get a mortgage in the first place but who really wants to rent forever?

Is being able to afford to stay at home to make it all work now a luxury?

But we also know just how darn difficult parenthood is too so many choose to work a day or 2 just to escape the house in search for an adult conversation.

It's a little scary to think that being a full time stay at home mum may no longer be a choice for many families as they know in advance that when push comes to shove there's a mortgage and bills to pay. 

We also know that country kids are much more likely to jump into parenthood much earlier in their lives compared to the city folk.

Why is this?

Is it because they're bored and there's nothing else to do?

Perhaps it's because many are fortunate enough to have homes provided for by their family run farms which reduces the financial commitment to owning your own home.  Without this to factor in,  it provides the opportunity to have children younger,  and to be able to have the choice to stay at home.

But for those who have to start from the ground up can they have it all?

Maybe the better question is;  can they have it all and be happy?

To be honest;  I think it's the minority of people who do.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

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