Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Will I Be a Good Mummy?

At some stage I think it's inevitable that a girl is going to find themselves pondering over whether they are going to be a good mummy.

To be completely honest, it is something that I have always struggled with.

I feel as though there's so much pressure out there for women to want children, to love children, to plan their lives around babies, and to love, care and nurture children.

Society expects women to be mothers.

The minute there's a wedding ring on a girls finger,  the baby questions start pouring in!

Some girls spend their life dreaming of the day the they will bring a new life into the world. They can't wait to be pregnant, stay at home and raise a child. But others find the idea quite daunting, and spend more time and energy on their career, relationships and themselves. Does this make that person selfish? I mean, why wouldn't a woman want children for any other reason then because they're only thinking of themselves...right?

I strongly believe that if a woman chooses not to have children, then people think it's because they can't, and not because it's by choice.

In no one am I saying that I do not want children, in fact, the idea isn't as scary as it used to be. But I have never really actually pictured myself with children. I think its because I'm scared that I won't be a good mum. 

There are so many amazing mummies out there who I love and adore. They seem to just step into the role, like a real natural. It's not very often that you hear about stories where mums are struggling, or not sure about the whole motherhood thing. Maybe there are more people out there struggling with the expectations then me who just don't talk about it.

There has been an ongoing joke in my family that I want my children to come out as one year olds. Well, let me rephrase that, not physically mature like a one year old, ouch!!! I just mean with the maturity of a one year old and not just a blob that eats, shits, spews, cries and sleeps hahaha clearly I am not ready!

I suck with little babies; they scare the hell out of me. The fact that a whole other little life depends on you for survival...eek! I can barely look after myself let alone another person haha

I've been told many a times that it will be different with your own, and that things will just come naturally, but what happens if they don't?

I do believe one day I will just feel ready, like the wonderfully beautiful moment that I knew that I was ready to be engaged, and I hope by that time that I have come to realize that I can't be so harsh on myself, but for now, I'm happy to keep practising for when the time comes!!!

Ohhh and don't get me wrong, I love children, in fact my little niece, cousins and my friends children melt my heart. I'm usually the biggest kid out there running around like a lunatic with them. I'm just scared of having my own!!!
Are you worried about becoming a mum?

What tips do you have for others?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

1 comment:

Tiff said...

I'm definitely worried about becoming a mom. I'm worried that I won't be able to financially provide for my children. I worry that I won't know what to do when they are crying or hurt or sad. I worry that I won't be able to help lead them down a positive path in life, but I think that is normal. We don't hear about people struggling as moms because it is taboo. LIke you said, society expects us to be mothers and to be "perfect", but I have definitely found a few blogs and articles out there where people talk about their struggles, fears, and how they feel judged by others. I think the fact that you (and I and others) are worried about being moms shows that we have awareness that will help us in being good moms.