Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Don't Tell The Guests

I made the "ultimate bridal mistake".

Yup, I bought the first dress that I ever tried on (okay, well technically the second dress, but it was in the first shop and the first time that I had ever looked!).

Even though I didn't whip out my credit card on the spot to have the dress sign, sealed and delivered, as tears welled in my eyes when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I just knew that it was the dress that I had to have.


Definitely one of the most exciting things about being the bride is knowing that you get to go shopping for THE dress!

Yup, the most expensive dress that you will probably ever own, all for that one moment as you walk down the aisle and your groom catches a glimpse of just how breathtakingly stunning you look on your special day!

The one that makes you feel like a princess.

Some girls have a secret wedding book hidden beneath their bed, with pictures of their faces cut out and glued over the top of models, in elegant looking dresses that they fantasize about one day wearing! 

Others like me, have more idea about what they don't want, which is only confirmed when they trawl through wedding magazines, sticking out their tongue and saying 'errrgggg' at some of the dresses that they see!

For me, I didn't want a strapless stress, nor one with shiny material, or glitz and glamour, I just wanted something simple, yet elegant.

I seen learnt that what you want, and what suits your body, can be two very different things.

I mean, how often do you hear brides saying 'when the shop attendant picked it out I screwed up my face but when I put it on I fell in love!'

Tip number 1: shop attendants know their stuff!


It was one of my best friends who suggested going for a sneak peak at dresses just 2 months after we became engaged (and 18 months before the wedding!)

We both picked out a number of dresses for me to try on - all in different colours, materials and designs!

I remember the first dress that I put on was a super puffy, frilly, meringue looking one, with intricate beading over the bodice. While it looked lovely, and my friend became a blubbering mess at seeing me look like a 'real bride', we both realised that it just wasn't 'me'.

I guess that's my second tip when looking for the 'right dress'; most dresses will probably look beautiful on you - after all, for the price attached to the tag, they'd want to look nice- but you have to make sure that the dress you are trying on is 'you!'.

As soon as I had THE dress on, we just knew.

 They say that you have a moment when you put on the 'right dress'. My moment went for a good half an hour where I didn't want to take the dress off - I just kept owwwing and awwwing over all of the details, just how perfectly it accentuated my body, and I started to tear up at the thought of Mick seeing me in it on our special day!

So tip number 3 is being aware of 'the moment'. It sounds lame, but trust me, you'll know which one is the right one by how you feel. Be careful not to be swayed by other people's opinions. You will know which one feels right.


It took me 6 months to go back and buy my dress.

Several champagne and cocktail induced bridal expos, along with me bursting out behind the change room curtains describing to friends how I would change this and that on the dress to make it look exactly like the one that I had fallen in love with, confirmed my decision!

For me, the hardest part was that my Mum wasn't with me when I bought me dress. Maybe it's lame, and maybe I have Hollywood movies to blame, but I had always pictured my mum being there when I bought THE dress!

After a choked up phone conversation with my mum (while still in THE dress AT the SHOP), and convincing the shop attendant to let me send a photo through, Mum insisted that I buy the dress without her, as she too, thought that it was perfect!

I almost thought that it was 'silly' buying my dress still so far in advance (12 months before my wedding), but I soon learnt that most bridal places encourage girls to buy their dress at least 6 months before the big day, to give the designer time to make, and alter your dress to fit you perfectly!


 I guess the next big thing was rather gingerly, looking at the price tag to see whether I'd have to sell my arm and leg to be able to afford the dress! Fortunately for me, I was rather shocked, in a good way, at just how affordable the dress was (here I was thinking it'd be $2000 +).

$1400 - BARGAIN!

I'd done my research and asked my fellow been-there-done-that-brides, and had found that the average dress cost between $1500-$2000.

While I had full intentions to try on a dress in a shop, and then compare the prices online, or to wait for a second hand one (I never wanted to spend a HUGE amount on the dress), as soon as I had the right dress on, I couldn't-possibly-wait-to-get-home-and-spend-time-searching-just-in-case-my-dress-was-sold!

I guess another little tip here for brides is to make sure you factor in any additional costs like having to have the dress altered. I know one friend who had intricate lace details on the bottom of her dress had to spend $600 to have the dress taken up.  


Finding the perfect dress definitely made it all feel 'more real' to me.

While I'm not going to post THE dress on here (hey, I have to keep some things a surprise), I will help to eliminate some possibilities!
I am going to try and avoid looking like a human meringue! Via
And while I think that this one is just LOVERLY (spew), I just don't think it's quite me! Via

Um - while I LOVE wedding cake, I do not want to look like one! Via
I do NOT intend on having my girls out for the world to see! Via

Do you have any tips for brides out there searching for THE dress?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

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