Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Don't Tell the Guests; Our Personalised Ceremony

In case you haven't been able to tell, I'm a words girl.

What on earth do I mean by that?

Well, you can give me an amazing gift, but if there isn't a card with some cheerful forms of endearment, or a little scribble in it, the gift won't mean as much to me... I guess that's why some of the best gifts from my husband has been the poems that he has written for me.

So, when it came to the ceremony, we hand picked every single word that was included to make it super meaningful and special to use (except of course, the legal words that the celebrant must say).

Yes, that's right, instead of picking readings written by centuries old philosophers, or romantics, we wrote ours together. One was called Opposites, and the other Promises.

Mick and I always wanted to verbalise the traditional formal vows to each other, particularly the words in sickness and in health as they bore a great weight of emotion for us, but we also wanted to personalise our ceremony.

The first reading for the day, was written by God, or spoken by God, as we really wanted Mick's Nan, an avid christian, to be able to have God present on our day.

Her reading was so beautiful taken from Genesis 2, 22-24

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, 'this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.'

Followed by;

Genesis 2 comment about Adam and Eve

That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved'.

The words are so beautiful that they still send a tingle up my spine as I write them.

It was so special to have Nan apart of our day, as my husband is very close to her, and she's one of the most amazing women that you will ever meet. We now joke that there are two Mrs Traegers, but she'll always be the original one!!!

The next super special reading was Opposites, written by us and read by one of my very best friends Carla. Carla is super special to me, and I didn't want anyone but her to read it, as I know how genuinely happy, proud and loved up for us she is, and I knew that she'd read it very sincerely!

Here it is...


They say that opposites attract. Apparently, it's got something to do with two people having different thoughts, feelings and behaviours, that draws them closer. This blend of differences results in an interesting union; allowing for spirited conversation, challenging views, ultimately enabling one another to achieve a well balanced outlook.

When Mick and Kirsty first starting dating, it was definitely a case of the bad boy woos the sweet and innocent good girl. Mick was the guy at school who was suspended for mooning a bus full old people. He was forced to write a letter of apology to the RSPCA for killing a seagull with a rat trap, and was caught looking up a teachers skirt, by no other then goody goody two shoes Kirsty. On the other hand, Kirsty was the academic minded, square, who strived to achieve great results at school, and often got frustrated at the Micks of this world for distracting the teachers and rest of the class.

It was one fateful night on the Traegers farm that bought the two together. A spark of attraction ignited a flame of fascination that would form the start of a lifetime union.

The first kiss happened, according to Mick, after a night of flirting on Kirsty’s behalf. Mick was caught off guard, but scored himself a fleeting kiss under the stars. All of this, mind you, took place, in the back of the ute, while Micks best mate was driving crazily down dirt tracks.

From here, many stories would say that the rest was history. Unfortunately for Mick, Kirsty played hard to get. In fact, the first time that Mick asked Kirsty out, a giggling Kirsty blurted out “no”, to a very nervous Mick.

It didn't take Kirsty long to realise her mistake, and from there, a relationship began with a poem asking Mick that 'if the offer still stands, I would love for you to be my man.'

It would seem there is truth to the theory that opposites attract.

Everyone here today knows that these two are much more alike than people first thought. Now, the tables have turned. It's Mick who has the forward thinking, property investment brain, while Kirsty is still the giggling school girl who he first fell in love with.

Together these opposites have achieved great things. They have saved their hard earned money to travel across the world; drinking cocktails in Thailand, crawling through tunnels in Vietnam, basking in the beauty of temples in Cambodia and kicking back and relaxing in Fiji. Shedding blood, sweat and tears they successfully renovated an investment property in Adelaide and they stood strong together in the face of Kirsty’s depression, proving just how sturdy their bond was.

Without a doubt, it is their sense of humour and ongoing support for each that has made these 'opposites' the strong loving couple who stand before us today. They share a mutual love for their friends and family, and are both equally committed to investing and building their relationship. Resulting in a forever growing, shared love and respect for one another.

Today these opposites unite, sharing a long loving union and a last name, Traeger. 

Our second super special reading was titled Promises, written by us and read by the beautiful Ran. Ran is like family to Mick and I, you know one of those friends who feel more like blood, so it was only fitting for her to read, and announce our promises to each other in front of those who will be in our lives forever to hold us accountable.


Of course, while our promises are of a serious nature, we managed to keep them fairly light-hearted.

A relationship is formed on promises. You promise to love each other through sickness and health, you promise to respect each other’s similarities and differences, you promise to work together to achieve each other’s goals, and you promise to be the person who will put in a 150% when the other person can only give 50%. You promise to love and to hold and to appreciate and support each other until your very last breath.
Today two people stand before us who have created some very special promises for each other. They have asked me to share these promises with you. As their closest friends and family, you will be the people who are going to influence and support their marriage the most.
Kirsty says that she promises to love Mick, even when the number of grey hairs on his head outnumbers the brown, and she can no longer pull them out to hide his age.
She promises to allow Mick to one day buy his pinball machine, after they have renovated their house, popped out some kids, bought a new car, boat, a shack, travelled the world, bought a Winnebago, travelled Australia, and well, maybe when he's 80.
Kirsty promises to support Mick’s life-time goals, and to do everything in her power to make these come true, because one day she knows that Traeger Trailers is going to be a thriving business.
She promises to love Mick in both sickness and health, and hopes that she can be as loving, caring and amazing as Mick was when she was sick.
She is grateful that Mick has chosen to spend the rest of his life with her, and will therefore remind herself every day that it is a choice to be together, and that she must continue to put effort into their relationship, so that the butterflies last forever.
Kirsty is mindful that things aren't always going to be easy, but she is committed to working through their differences, she is willing to compromise her opinions, and she is hopeful that no matter what challenges life throws at their relationship, that they will always tackle it side-by-side.
She also promises to still reaffirm that Michael is sexy, even when he's wearing adult sized nappies, has hair growing out of his nose and a mono-brow, because she'll always remember him as the guy who stole her heart at 15.
Kirsty promises to always put their relationship first, as it is definitely the most important and defining relationship in her life; Michael is her best friend, and always will be.
Michael promises ditto.
He also promises to support Kirsty throughout the rest of their lives together.
He promises to take away her bank card to stop her from buying so many clothes, so that they can save for the pinball machine.
He promises to always be by her side. Except when she wants to go see a chick flick; Kirsty can do that when he is at the pub.
He promises to never let anything come between himself and Kirsty, and to never let anything hurt her. He will protect her from pain and any evil that they might face together.
He promises to be there for her through sickness and health.
Michael promises that they will battle the hard times together, and will come out stronger than ever.
He promises to do the dishes and change a nappy once a week only if there is a fridge full of beer.
With these promises, let us always hold them accountable, and support them through the good times and the challenging.


So there you have it, a little taste of the meaningful words that we personally chose to be spoken on our special day.

It was so special to see these read with emotion.

What readings did you choose for your ceremony?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

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