Today I welcome Matt to my blog. He's a country boy, has the greatest sense of humour, and provides me with many of laughs on my bus ride to and from work. Matt has been with his partner Jase, for 8 1/2 years. Today, Matt gives us an insight into what it's like, "coming out" to your friends and family about being homosexual.
Thanks Matt!
Thanks Matt!
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| Jason (on the right and I). |
Who do you
think should set the standard that determines who can and cannot marry in any
country? Your parents? Some politician? The church? God?
As a lad
growing up in a small country town, I knew at the age of 8 (my earliest
recollection) that I preferred to be around boys and play with dolls rather
than trucks in the sandpit. Naturally, I had no comprehension at that age as to
what ‘gay’ meant or that it was socially and morally ‘wrong’ to think about the
older male youth group leaders in the way that I did. I went to Sunday School
every week, became a youth group leader myself, sang in gospel choirs and the
entire family was and still is heavily involved in church life. From a
moralistic viewpoint I was brought up in a very Godly way! Abuse free I might
add for all those out there who may be thinking I was!
On July 8th,
2001 at the age of 24 I ‘came out’ to my family. I waited until that time
mainly because I didn’t believe I had the maturity or financial means to
continue on if I was rejected by them all. A totally irrational fear I know but
it felt very real at the time I was going through it. I first sought the advice
of a good counsellor friend of the family and used her as my sounding board to
gauge their potential reaction. As expected she was very supportive and because
of the 20+ year friendship she had with them I knew I could trust her word that
their reaction would be a positive one. As difficult as it was to actually say
the words to my parents I felt like a new man afterwards – the weight of fear,
anxiety, depression all lifted like a fog before the beautiful sunshine that
follows. Knowing I had the support of the family even though it would rarely be
spoken about again meant the world to me. I was able to be who I was created to
be. My mother told me later that she knew something was up because I had become
introverted and withdrawn from events and activities that I would normally have
jumped into with both left feet.
On the flip
side I have known of people that have crossed my path in life that have ‘come
out’ and suffered terribly at the hands of their families, friends and working
colleagues. It begs the question of how you can just turn off the love and
affection you feel towards someone because something loving and caring they
were doing in secret is now out in the public domain? I believe it is purely
out of ‘fear’ that people discard others based on information they would rather
not have known about to save face or preserve themselves from judgment of
others.
Divorce
rates between a man and a woman around the world are increasing. So marriage between
a man and a woman is still the best option because? Kids yep I knew that would
be the answer given and quite rightly a legitimate answer. However what about
love, trust, honesty, integrity, communication etc all the things that wedding vows
usually encompass – so easily broken! Gay and Lesbian people can make these
vows just as honestly and openly as their straight counterparts and stick to
them!
Whose place
is it to judge others? Who gives the authority to be in a position of judgment
over others as to what they do?
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| Jason and I in Santorini. |
If you think
you know I’d love to hear about it because in a world dictated by social
‘norms’ we tend to forget what is best for us and cave in to the social
expectations of the community in which we live.
Matt
