Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Learning to say no is made easier if you know what you want...

I struggle to say no. Well I did. The Kirsty a year ago did. I learnt to say no, and to feel confident saying no, when I knew what I wanted.

At the start of each year I set myself professional and personal goals. My partner and I set a shared goal together. I also identify what I want to prioritise for that year.

Last year my priority was my health.

This year our priority is our renovations so that we can move back to the country at the end of the year.

It makes it SO much easier to say no, especially if you are determined and passionate about what you are setting out to achieve.

Take for example last year. When I was asked to do something but at the time I felt overwhelmed with everything that I had already committed to but I felt almost compelled to say yes, I reminded myself that my health was my priority.

It would give me the courage to say, "sorry, but I can't. I'm concentrating on my health this year so I'm just going to spend some "me time"."

I struggle to say no to things that require my time and my money. Both are precious to me. I have limited energy and moolah in both of my banks.

This year when I am asked if I wouldn't mind organising such and such or if I'd like to go out for tea to such and such expensive restaurant, I say "sorry, but I can't. We're concentrating on our renovations this year."

If someone persists, than I might say "I'm really sorry but I would rather spend the $100 that we'd spend going out for tea on pavers...or a toilet...or paint".

Knowing what you want, and what your priorities are, gives you the confidence to say no. It also gives you a valid reason to say no. No one can question your priorities (and if they do, they might not be worth having in your life).

This is just one of the tools that I have in my toolbox for saying "no". I'm definitely not a pro at saying "no". I still find myself saying "yes" when my gut is telling me DON'T!

Do you struggle to say no? What tricks have you learnt to say no?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

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