My Inspiration

Some times the people in your life who have the biggest impact are totally unaware of just how significant their actions, guidance and support have been to your journey.

I truly believe that today's special lady would say that she was just doing her job, but it is her job that gives hope and educates so many people on a local level, providing them with the opportunity to speak out and share their stories.

I have known Emma since school but she was a little older then me. Even back then I knew that she had a massive presence on the school radio.

I watched her over the years turn into an amazing radio presenter who always seemed super passionate about her career choice.

It wasn't until we decided to move home that I reached out to Emma via good old Facebook for advice on finding a pathway into journalism.

It was Emma who suggested creating a portfolio of writing through the Avenue of a blog. Me, being totally  technologically challenged, was a tad nervous about the whole thing, but decided to give it a crack.

Since then I haven't looked back.

I remember forwarding on a few links to Emma in the early stages for her advice and she was brilliant. She encouraged me to include links to helpful sites, add pictures and continue writing about the 3 hs; health, hip pocket and happiness.

It has been Emma who has allowed my blog to reach a bigger audience then what I could've ever imagined.

She has opened up opportunities like being able to share my stories on ABC Open, being  interviewed on live radio to share my message about accepting, dealing with and moving on from depression and she has allowed me to net work with some pretty  inspirational people.

My proudest achievement with Emma was Mental health week this year. Together we collected and edited stories from local people suffering from mental illnesses and shared them on the ABC open website in hope that others would reach out for the help they need and to create awareness and empathy for the horrible illnesses that they are.

The response was massive, with the writers receiving gifts, food donations and words of support from their local communities.

To say I am proud of what we are achieving is an  understatement.

Emma has helped me find my purpose and she has given me the belief in myself and  opportunities to help as many people as I can who are affected by mental health.

Emma truly is an unsung hero to her local community who goes above and beyond her role to keep people safe, informed, and happy through the radio and various projects she  undertakes.

I'm so grateful that I reached out to Emma and that she grabbed my hand and helped me reach out to others.

There is another project that Emma has helped point me in the direction of with some amazing contacts underway for 2014 that would help tick another massive achievement off my bucket list but it's still in the planning stage so watch this space.

To Emma, you've helped me beyond belief with my post depression emotions and together we are helping everyone who reads and listens to our stories. I owe you a beverage or 10.

Who is an inspiration in your life?

Have you ever told them how much they mean to you?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

To read the stories from mental health week click here https://open.abc.net.au/openregions/sa-west-coast-33ls3su/posts?page=2

Why Divorce is an Option For Me

Marriage is a choice.

Loving someone is a choice.

Caring for someone you love is a choice.

Committing to someone is a choice.

Protecting someone is a choice.

Being faithful to someone is a choice.

Honesty is a choice.

Staying by someone's side when things become tough is a choice.

Divorce is a choice.

Marriage should never make you feel like you have to stay with someone because you promised to in your vows despite the abuse, mistreatment, lack of respect, lying and guilt someone may place on you.

If you have tried to give 150% when they could only give 50 and you've used all of your energy and love so that you are lost,  incomplete and threatening your own health and happiness then yes, I think divorce is an option.

We choose to marry someone when we are in love, on the same page, moving forward in our lives, and we choose to do this even though each other is not perfect.

We never expect for things to ever turn sour or for the person we love and give our lives to, to turn on us, but people do change and if that change turns in opposite directions or someone becomes oppressed and threatened, then yes, divorce may be the only option.

I don't think divorce means giving up easily, in fact, I think it'd have to be one of the toughest, heart breaking decisions that a human being must have to make when everything they have committed their life to comes crashing down and they have no where else to turn.

No one really wants to be alone and it's not human nature to give up, particularly on things we love.

So yes, I think divorce is an option.

If the person I loved ever cheated on me, abused me, questioned or tried to change my core being, threatened my safety or those who I love,  continually lied to me, failed again and again and again to put effort into our  relationship and became a negative force in my life then yes, divorce would be an option.

I don't believe in staying with someone purely because divorce isn't an option.

I don't believe in living life unhappily  married because you're too scared to leave.

I don't believe that the one person who should make you feel loved, safe and happy should turn into your worst enemy.

I'm not naive in thinking that divorce won't happen to me. I love my husband and right now, I'd do anything for him and our future, but I know that marriage is a verb and not a noun and that I must continue to put effort into our relationship, never take him for granted, let him know that he's my main priority, cuddle him, buy special gifts for him and just genuinely let him know that I choose to love him, for divorce will always be an option.

I would hate for my relationship to suffer because I couldn't communicate my love and appreciation.

Never take your loved one for granted, because divorce may be an option for them too.

What do you think about divorce? Is it an option for you? Do you think people really give up too easily?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

What if we Couldn't have Kids?

Baby making is very often taken for granted.

Let's face it, many of us spend our teenage years and early twenties trying everything in our power not to fall pregnant.

Then the jokes turn to practicing to make perfect and enjoying life without children but then somewhere along the way, we begin to become a little more serious about this whole baby thing.

It begins to become less scary and more fun and exciting.

Something changes and you feel ready.

Well, I'm assuming that's how it happens as we're not quite at the ready stage, probably more the less scary part.

But one thing that is starting to play on my mind is what happens when you are ready and raring to toss the contraception aside and nothing happens?

It still astounds me that with all of the awareness of IVF and couples having trouble falling  pregnant that so many people still ask so when are you planning on starting a family?

What happens if someone replied with we can't fall pregnant or we don't want kids?

I have to remind myself that it's just a conversation starter but I'm sure those questions could also be heart breakers to some people.

What if you weren't meant to have children or you discovered that there was a problem with either yourself or your partner and things were going to be a little trickier then some simple rumpy pumpy?

I mean of course we hear stories of people needing IVF but surely we aren't one of those such couples... But then again, I'm sure those that have needed it thought the same.

Or what happens when everyone around you starts falling pregnant seemingly easily and you're having trouble?

Yes I'm starting to watch my biological clock and am realizing that soon I'll be 26. Yes I'm aware that people don't always fall pregnant straight away in fact my mum took a year to fall preggas with me and she didn't have endometriosis or any known condition that may make it hard.

Is it naive to think that falling pregnant happens as soon as you are ready for it too?

I've been starting to wonder whether my husband and I should start taking tests now, even when babies are still little sparkles in our eyes, to know what we might be up against?

They might come back clear and be good to go when we're done perfecting, or we might find out that we may have some trouble and one or both of us should start taking the necessary steps to ready ourselves.

Maybe I'm over thinking the whole thing or maybe I'm just a little less naive.

I did ask my husband the other day what happens if we can't and we both kind of just paused in silence because we've never thought of it as an option.

I asked if he'd hate me if I couldn't.

Of course he said no, but it's definitely something that plays on my mind.

Have you had similar thoughts? Have you found out you'll have trouble  conceiving? How did you cope with this?

Did you ever have tests to see if you and your partner were fertile?

I've definitely noticed that I've stopped asking and assuming about baby making to couples, because it's something so personal and you just never know what silent challenges they might be up against.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Merry Christmas Everyone

It's that time of the year that almost pee myself with  excitement in the lead up to Christmas Day.

Yes I'm the kid who has the Christmas carols cranked, makes my husband have a family photo with Christmas hats on heads, is the first to wake the house the morning of the big day and hands out the presents one by one to everyone making sure that we take the time to ohhh and arrr over them!!!

Man I love this time of the year!

It's so exciting as friends and family start arriving and your schedule fills up with parties and dinner dates spent giggling over the years antics and creating new, often very merry memories.

It's fun putting up the Christmas tree and having your house sparkle from the lights dangling from every place you could hammer a nail.

There's so serious retail therapy involved to find the perfect gifts and to sneak in a couple for yourself.

The weather is genuinely warm and you know you get a few days off to kick back and do nothing but eat, drink, sit around and entertain.

There's recipes that are whipped out annually not to mention nannas chocolate balls and slices and most people are in a fairly festive spirit except the old Grinch .

It's also a time to be thankful and grateful and to give generously to those less fortunate.

So a huge big Merry Christmas to my readers. I'll be spending Christmas eve the  traditional way at a church service followed by the pub and Christmas Day with my top button undone from the overindulgence of delicious treats!!!

Love the Traegers xxx

My Inspirations

We all look up to people. Whether it's because you're short or tall, we all have people in our lives who we admire and wished that we could be respected and seen to have qualities that they possess.

I'm starting a new segment called My  Inspirations that is going to recognize those people who have truly impacted my life, for too often we fail to acknowledge the greatness in people.

First up is a remarkable lady called Audrey who has played a huge part in not only my professional career but she was also the Beacon of hope that I needed when my road ahead was still dark around the edges as I dealt with the raw emotions post depression.

I met Audrey hot out of high school at the ripe age of 17 as the big city lights reflected in awe in my wide bright blue eyes as I started my journey as a country kid in a big city.

She ran a program at my university of choice that aimed to help country kids and many others in their  transition to university in hope of making it as smooth as possible.

Audrey was one of the first faces that I met on campus and one that I clung onto for support throughout my 7 years in Adelaide.

In my second year she gave me the opportunity to become a mentor for first year students and so our  relationship changed to colleagues.

During my time as a mentor Audrey gave me the confidence to speak in front of lecture theatre's full of students; one of my greatest fears in life!!!

Ironically, when I decided that teaching wasn't for me it was Audrey who came to my rescue to help me create a resume to sell myself.

I remember sitting in a cafe once with Audrey and another lady and thinking on my feet as they threw interview questions at me to prepare me for my first ever real life interview for a big person's job.

The job was at the  University and I scored permanentcy.  All was going well in my career when I fell horribly ill with depression.  I ended up taking 3 months off of work to fight my illness.

When I made the slow return to work, I found out that a woman's mentoring program that I had signed up for had assigned Audrey as my professional mentor.

It was here that Audrey really rocked my socks.

I was lost, shattered in fact, with no confidence in sight. I had to start from scratch working 3 days a week for 3 hours at a time and slowly building up my hours back to full time after so long off. I was emotionally exhausted and dealing with the demons post depression. In a sense I think that I had post traumatic stress.

It was Audrey who helped me find my voice again.

She taught me to believe in myself.

I did a lot of soul searching that year, including asking male and female colleagues what my  strengths and weaknesses were at work, taking personality tests to understand myself better, posing questions to Audrey like how to deal with conflict in the work place and so much more that helped me beyond belief.

One of the best activities that Audrey assigned me was to write little pick me ups to myself that I carried in my handbag.

They included things like I am strong, I am happy, I deserve respect, I am capable, I can deal with stress, I need to be kind to myself, it's okay to make mistakes, I'm not perfect and that's okay.

Whenever I'd second guess myself I would whip out the cards and reassure myself whether that be on the ride home in a bus or mid work day while suppressing a panic attack and racing to the toilets with my cards in hand!!!

Audrey and I would have dinner dates and would go to professional development courses together.

It was in one of these that I wrote that my dream was to start a blog creating awareness about topics that go unspoken to educate people.

I never knew just how powerful writing down my life goal was.

Audrey had changed from the coordinator of a mentoring program to my manager as a mentor myself, to becoming my professional mentor and finally, a great friend.

I was super proud to have Audrey present on my wedding day.

She truly is such an amazing lady who went above and beyond her job description.

She is beautiful on the inside and out and I don't think I'll ever be able to show her much I appreciate the influence she has had on my life.

To Audrey, you have been recognized for your generosity and work ethic with awards, great successes in programs and overseas trips but none of those things can ever truly show just how much of an impact you have on people's lives!!!

I'm just one of the many people you've touched.

So thank you; I hope that I can be half the woman you are in life.

Who is an inspiration in your life?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Thank you

I've been wanting to write this post for a long time, but I could never find words that carried enough meaning to be able to convey what I have been feeling.

Upon reflecting on the year gone by, I realized just how big of a role my blog has played in my happiness.

I receive so much joy at each chance that comes by for me to sit for a little while and ponder life and the roller coaster that it can  sometimes be.

Nothing makes me feel more alive then when I write a really powerful piece and I hit the publish button in hope that it will reach someone out there who is willing to listen.

I feel so humbled every time I receive a lovely email from someone reaching out to say that my sharing has touched their lives.

When I bump into people and they tell me that they are addicted to my blog I am blown away.

I have cried when I have read people's comments. I have also giggled and even challenged my own thinking.

I love being about to give people the opportunity to share their stories and I feel grateful that they see my blog as a place to be honest and safe from criticism.

My eyes have been opened to the battles others face.

My mind has been cleared of hate and regret over my depression.

I have been empowered to share my super sensitive story.

My open and raw wounds have been given the opportunity to heal and scar as a reminder of my battle.

If I could show people how much their kind words and readership means to me, and how much you have helped me to move on with my life after depression, then I would be truly happy.

It's not just a blog to me; it's my coping mechanism. It's one of the only places that I can be brutally honest and where I can express my true feelings and thoughts.

My blog has allowed me to combine my passion for writing with my love for sharing and my deep desire to educate.

So thank you.

People always tell me how much my blog has helped them and this is my chance to tell you how much your support has helped me.

Recently when I had to make an incredibly difficult decision to resign from a position I loved to put my health first, I thought of what advice I'd give a reader in my circumstance and about practicing what I preach to others about the importance of your well being and it helped me to make my decision.

You have helped me deal with my ghosts from the past but you help me to maintain a healthy life everyday.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty

2 Very Special Events in 2013

Tis' the time of the year to reminisce on the year that was and me oh my two incredibly special things happened in my life that showed me a love I didn't even know existed; I became a wife and an Aunty.

On the 5th of April the most precious gift of all was delivered into this world and our lives haven't been the same since in the form of a tiny baby girl.

She has cute little red locks, huge chubby cheeks that you want to devour and a grin that stretches ear to ear whenever you see her.

I've taught her to dance, she loves when I sing her twinkle twinkle little star despite my out of pitch voice and she lights up my world with her smile.

I see her every week but I just can't get enough of her.

She truly is adorable and I am the proudest aunt.

To watch her grow and develop a little personality from a blob to being about to crawl like a turbo, say dad and nan, high five, clap and wave is something of a miracle.

She's bought so much love and joy into our family.

The second biggest event of my life was marrying my best friend of 10 years.

I have learnt that a wedding is so much more then one day for two people, it's months of planning that brings two families and friends together from world's apart to celebrate a very special union.

Wedding days are always so special and judging by the looks of the smiles on our guests faces and the unique moments captured by our photographer, everyone had a great time.

I will never forget spending the week before getting ready with my girls, seeing all of the beautiful smiling faces of our loved ones as we walked down the aisle, capturing the eye of a very nervous husband for the first time, hearing the voice of a good friend sing our aisle song, listening to the girls read our commitments, saying our special vowels, quality time with Mick in amongst the vines, our crazy wedding dance, the photo booth  shenanigans, one of my dear friends fighting over my bouquet and having everyone together.

It was truly magical.

This year I feel so blessed for the relationships in my life ranging from old beloved friends to the new friendships I'm creating and my beautiful marriage.

What big events have happened in your life this year?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Depression is a sign of strength NOT a sign of Weakness

For a long time some people have viewed depression as a sign of weakness or a flaw in someone's character but that has got to stop.

If you walked a day in a sufferers shoes you'd want to cuddle them so tightly that you'd almost make their eye balls pop out of their head because you would discover the strength it takes to put one foot in front of the other in those shoes.

You've probably heard the stories about the incredibly difficult emotional and physical challenge that depression sufferers face, and most likely you've alikened their sadness to one of your really bad days, or the grief of someone passing away or the sadness you feel when things go wrong, but nothing can ever prepare you for the hollowness that comes with depression.

The sufferer must dig really deep to find any reserves of strength, and often relies on those around them to draw energy from to continue on.

Isn't it crazy to think that one in five people suffer but when you look around you I bet you'd struggle to pick their silent battle because they're trying to soldier on and put a brave face on to protect those around them?

Doesn't that take strength? So many people find it easy to whinge on social media about how crappy their cold is making them feel or how horrible their day was but you rarely see a depression sufferer voice their hurt because they try with all of their strength to suppress their pain.

And did you know that often the most  susceptible are generally the most happiest and outgoing people that you'll meet. In their everyday healthy lives they are full of strength and others lean on them for advice and help.

When they fall ill it doesn't take away this strength, instead it reinforces it and shows that despite how horrible they are feeling they can still manage a smile. That is also why this illness is so deadly because the sufferers try to be too strong and they fool people into thinking they're okay when they need help.

Depression sufferers usually go above and beyond for others, even if it's just lending them their smile and that's why it's important that when they fall ill that we protect them because their strength helps others.

Depression is not a weakness it's a sign of strength.

It is by far the toughest battle that I have ever faced and I even needed to enlist my soldiers but it has made me even stronger then ever before.

It has taught me my inner strength and it has made me appreciate and respect the strength of everyone out there suffering.

So please, if you're reading this and your spirit has been weakened by the perceived negativity of opinions around your illness, I beg you to see your  strength in facing a new day, and managing to pull yourself out of bed, and to get dressed, and even if that is only as far as you got today, it will get easier.

One day, you'll feel yourself again and when that day comes you'll be able to see your strength.

If you're a none believer then look up depression and then try and imagine yourself living a day feeling those symptoms of worthlessness, hopelessness and emptiness with to answer in sight and only darkness and then try and tell me that they are weak human beings.

And lastly to the supporters of sufferers; your strength is undeniable - hang in there because they need you now more then ever before.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Those who give generously receive generously.

It's that time of the year where it's impossible to find a car park at a shopping Centre, you can almost smell the scent of plastic burning from credit cards being slashed through teller machines, a special tree is pulled out of its spot in the cupboard to be erected and people are writing naughty and nice lists... yup Christmas!!!

What a special time of the year!!!

It's the time of giving generously, cooking treats to entertain loved ones, hanging bright globes for the joy of the passer Byers, thinking about what those closest to you would enjoy when they rip back the carefully wrapped presents, booking flights and planning trips to reunite with loved ones,  reflecting on your year and getting excited about what gifts others might have for you.

It's also the time of the year to take a moment to think about how truly lucky we are to be born into a country with peace so that we can have a very merry Christmas.

We're so incredibly fortunate to have the finances to spoil our loved ones and to know that we'll receive nice gifts in return.

We know that come Christmas Day, our bellies will be bursting from food as we always  overindulge in the delicatable once a year goodies and that our hearts will be bursting with love because of the opportunity to spend quality time with friends and family.

We value generosity and because we know that others will spend time and money carefully selecting the right gift for us, we also choose to invest our energy to find an impressive gift for them.

As you grow older, you tend to be given bigger, more expensive items as opposed to hundreds of small ones and the day becomes less about the presents and more about the presence of loved ones.

It is this such change in thinking that brings into question the generosity of giving at Christmas time and the recipients of our money.

I feel as though I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by lovely things all year round that make my life comfortable. I'm starting to question the need for more clutter and money spent on me by others when I have money of my own. This year, I've been thinking about giving gifts to those that aren't usually on my present buying list.

These people include charities, the homeless and organizations that help others to bring some cheer into their lives, if only in the short term.

I figure that I can't buy them everything that they need all of the time, but I could spend some of my money to make them smile and realize that there are people out there that care and the world isn't such a horrible place.

This year I'm going to buy a present to put under k marts wishing tree and I'm going to talk more seriously with my husband about sponsoring a child.

Next year I'm going to ask my loved ones to donate the money they'd spend on me to a charity, like the Royal flying doctors buy a piece of the sky project.

There's more to giving generously then receiving generously, because instead of items you receive love.

Imagine making someone's Christmas Day?

I also think that what goes around comes around and who knows who might be using the charity you support one day?

Do you give away money and presents to charitites at Christmas time?

What charities or organizations do you suggest?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Life's Better With You by my Side

There's a guy I know who is abit of a  champion so I snapped him up and made a husband of him.

Naww my husband; I love saying that.

I love knowing that husband means a life long commitment to put up with each other even when all you want to do sometimes is to strangle some sense into them!

Sometimes I wished people could see my man through my eyes because there's a side he reserves only for me. But then I feel blessed that I'm the person he's chosen to share his complete self with.

He makes me laugh every single day, even when I walk in the door from work with my grumpy pants on.

He challenges me and forces me to question my decisions until I'm convinced that what I'm thinking is best for me, him and us.

Life is lonely without him.

When something exciting happens the first number that I dial in my phone is under the tag hubby.

Even if I'm surrounded by my closest friends and family, if he isn't there I never feel completely content.

I love that we can sit in a comfortable silence.

It's nice to share life with someone who completely gets you and who knows when I need quiet time, sleep or fed.

I'm forever comforted knowing that when life gets bumpy we ll tackle it side by side.

I love the man he's become and seeing him change as our priorities change focus.

I respect that he puts me and our  relationship above everything else.

I adore that he'll step in and make the tough decisions.

He's the smartest guy I know.

He loves life and likes things simple which helps someone who over complicates things inside of their mind.

He can calm me just by hearing his voice.

I miss him when we're apart even if it's just while we're at work.

He cooks for me.

My husband understands my love language and has changed his behavior to show me asks of service.

He is kind.

I still got butterflies every time I'm about to see him.

He knows the importance of date nights and communication.

Michael is generous with his time.

He puts others before himself.

His laugh is infectious.

My husband understands that all relationship take effort and that marriage is a verb not a noun.

He's sexy and cares about his appearance.

He can be super romantic.

When I least expect it, he sends me reassuring text messages.

Sometimes he can be brutally honest but it's always what I need to hear and never to be mean.

He's my best friend.

I couldn't imagine life without him.

Life's always better with him by my side.

How do you feel about your partner?

Do they rock your socks?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

Your challenge for Tomorrow...

I have a challenge for you and it's sure to put a smile on your face and someone else's too.

Tomorrow I want you to text a message to a friend letting them know what you appreciate about them, just out of the blue, with no interior motive or reason but to let them know that you are thinking of them.

Too often we don't tell those closest to us why we enjoy having them apart of our lives.

You never know just how much that text might mean to someone.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Is it Just a Job?

When people ask you to talk about your life, what do you say?

I have this very fulfilling job where I work 40 hours a week helping people blah blah blah fill in the blanks with whatever profession you choose...

Or do you say, just very briefly, I work at such and such and I am married with 3 beautiful children insert ages, names, achievements, where you live, the places you've seen, the committees you're on, the sports and interests you're into etc.

My point? There's so much focus on people to have a career. It's pushed down your neck at school, well that's face it your entire life. One of the biggest things we ask kids is what do you want to be when you grow up? Do we expect to hear the answer happy or a mummy?

Despite the  significance of a job, isn't it just a way of earning money to live the life you want?

Sometimes we place too much focus on a career and moving up through the ranks, the titles, the roles and the recognition that come with these, that we get stuck in a rut, choosing  perceived acceptable successes in society over what we truly want and desire.

Is a job ever worth your happiness? What happens when you love a job but it starts affecting your home life? How do you choose what comes first; your position at work or your home life?

It's easy to say that it's just a job and the choice should be easy to pick your life over work, but we all know it's much more difficult then that.

There's all of your hard work and energy that you've invested into securing your role, permanency, security, a position in a company, the acknowledgements by others, the joy of climbing the ladder and doing something for yourself, pushing boundaries and becoming successful in your career. There's something special about naming your degree or title and you don't receive that respect or buzz from anything else because you know it's your hard work that got you there.

And we know that when we find ourselves unemployed that we long for a position to feel like we are contributing to our lives and society and not just living off the system.

A job gives us the opportunity to better or lives, reduce financial pressures and to feel satisfied.

So when does a career become just a job?

Maybe when things start to become strained in your life?

Could it be when you find yourself constantly saying no to friends and family because you are working?

Or is it when you have no energy left at the end of a working day or week for the life you picture yourself living?

No matter what it is that changes your opinions towards your career, one day you might find yourself realizing that you are replaceable and that life will go on in your company without you.

Once you realize that, it's easier to make decisions based on your heart and not your head.

Once you realize that life, health, happiness and your home life is far more important then any big figure, title or work achievement then it becomes easier to put things into perspective.

But what about losing a wage, or letting down your team, or training someone else, or giving up all of your hard work that got you there in the first place?

Yes, they are difficult decisions to make, but ask yourself do I work to live or live to work?

Will I be remembered for my job or my life?

Will I regret missing my babies first steps or that extra pay cheque?

If I lost my partner and life due to a job... would it be worth it?

Would my job be enough to bring me  satisfaction by itself if I had nothing else?

A career can be more than just a job, so long as you live a balanced life.

When that balance tilts to one side, then you may have to re think your priorities, no matter how big the  sacrifices may seem at the time.

As one door closes another always opens and sometimes in the least expected corridors.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Big People's Decisions

Growing older is inevitable - growing up is a choice.

While people can choose to be immature when they want to be, when it comes to big decisions your big person's hat gets dragged out of the closest and some serious head hurting thinking is involved.

Decisions.

Decisions seem to become harder the longer your digits continue to tick over.

Once upon a time the biggest decision was how to wear your hair to school - now it's deciding where to invest money with minimal risk but maximum return, when to pay your bills, how to make ends meet, what your priorities are, gaining a work life balance, finding the right partner, balancing friends, family, lovers and yourself and so many more difficult choices.

Life.

It's not all doom and gloom as you get older; there's certainly so much to look forward to and the world really does become your oyster.

If you are determined enough, then you will make your dreams come true - even if it means going without things you love for a while in order to save your hard earned dollars to bring those desires to life.

The possibilities to travel the world are endless, there's a million different education opportunities out there from tafe modules to university degrees, apprenticeships, traineeships and so much more!

You only get bored if you allow yourself to settle for anything less then you deserve.

There's new relationships to be making daily, from work mates to sporting communities, committees that you can become involved in, friends of friends, new families moving into town, boyfriends and girlfriends and tapping into their circles.

There's amazing decisions to make like when to get married and start a family.

You also, fingers crossed, have developed the skills to manage your finances so that you can afford to have that little coffee treat a day or to splurge on retail therapy.

But yes, with growing older comes added responsibility.

There's a time when you will have to manage your career goals with your home life.

There's a time when you will need to balance your health with your head and your heart.

There's a time when you may need to make incredibly difficult decisions, like walking away from things you love, to achieve the bigger pictures in your life.

There's times when you will grow apart from close friends because you are choosing different paths to take.

There's times when you will butt heads with your loved one, due to life's stresses, and you will have to find a happy medium to be able to continue life on the same page.

There's times when you will find yourself with zero dollars in your bank account despite your hard working efforts and you will think what's the point?

There's times when you will need to decide what things are worth your energy, because everyone has a limited amount of energy.

There's times when your priorities will change, sometimes, what feels like, overnight, and you will need to change to fit your new needs and desires.

There's times when you will have to let go of pain.

There's times when you will need someone stronger then you at the time to lean on.

There's times when you will be the rock for someone else.

There's times when you will need to put your own needs and desires second to someone else's.

There's times when you will need to compromise your opinions, feelings and thoughts with someone else's.

There are challenging times out there.

There are difficult decisions to be made.

But always remember that as long as you are happy, and those closest to you are happy, then nothing else matters.

Sometimes this does mean taking a giant step back to get some perspective.

Sometimes this will be devastating, difficult and heart wrenching but only you can decide what is truly important to you and it's your decisions that will protect these.

What big decisions have you had to make? 

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

Why It's important to be Honest

Too many times in life we feel ashamed to speak the complete honest truth in fear.

Fear that others won't understand.

Fear that others will judge.

Fear that speaking the words out loud make them real.

But on the other hand, we are taught that honesty is the key to building and maintaining relationships both professional and personal.

Where does society define the Grey area between honest and too honest?

Is it expected that when people ask how are you, you blurt back okay even if you really aren't?

Is it now, more then ever, frowned down upon in social media to have a whinge or speak the truth about how you're feeling in today's main mode of communication because how dare you affect the happiness of the person scrolling through their news feed reading it?

Is everyone so absorbed in their own lives and battling to keep their head above water that we no longer have the energy for other people's problems?

I guess we have to look at the definition or perceived definition of truthfulness.

I guess we'd agree that truthfulness means being honest. It means being open and not brushing things under the carpet. It means speaking what you truly think and feel, despite how others may react.

So why then if you wrote on Facebook that my husband and I are having a tough time that people would be like Holy Moly, too honest?

Or I'm really struggling with life and it's demands at the moment that people would think, tell someone who cares.

Yes, there's a Grey area.

Yes there's an expectation that you keep super personal and private things, which usually end up being the struggles in your life, between close friends and family and off of social media.

But we all know that everyone struggles with stuff on a day to day basis; that's life.

One persons struggle may differ to another, but that doesn't make their experience any less real or significant in their life.

Are we honest on Facebook?

Are we fooling between to believe we have the perfect life when we only show our triumphs and not our troubles?

Are we setting up unrealistic expectations for others who compare their lives to ours, wondering why theirs seems dull to everyone else's?

I beg people to read people the lines and with caution; honesty is in the eyes of the beholder.

You hold cards closely to your chest on life and so do others.

Maybe we need to redefine honesty in today's social media age; there's two sets of rules; honesty for social media and honesty for private conversations between friends and family.

Once we are truly honest with others, we begin to realize that everyone has their struggles and you're never alone.

I will always appreciate my blog space for allowing me to speak honestly about my experiences with mental health.

There a things I disclose in here that I would never make a Facebook status about...I guess it comes back to audience and appropriateness for people scrolling through their news feeds and not wanting to be the sad sack.

But hey, my blog has taught me that I'm not alone and I'll never be alone with my struggles with mental health for my honesty has allowed me to connect with others in similar positions.

Being truly honest gives us the freedom to connect with others.

It gives us the opportunity to share stories and experiences that you otherwise would've fought alone.

It shows that we re only human not super happy loving life beings all of the time... and that's okay.

Hnesty is so important and yet I think it's  diminishing in society because there's an expectation that we re handling life's demands all of the time.

We're human. We crash. We make mistakes. We get stressed. We get angry. We fight. But we love, we care and we want to share stories in hope of connecting with someone else to not feel so isolated.

What do you think about honesty? Are there now 2 definitions?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx

My 2013 Goals - Did I Achieve Them?

Every year, around the 31st of December, people all over the world make resolutions.

People want to be thinner, prettier, people want to travel, or build their dream home or find that one person who they fall in love with.

People start the new year with a fresh slate, ready to rise up to the challenges, tick things off of their bucket list, being determined that at the end of that year, they can look back and think yup, that's where my hard earned money went.

Every year I am one of those such people who create focuses.

Over the years these change, from going on a massive European adventure, to visiting South East Asia, buying tanks for our house, investing in property, renovating and so forth.

I've decided that as the years go on, it's more and more important for me to have "focuses" otherwise the years roll into each other and usually around tax time, you're left scratching your head thinking me oh my, where did all of that money go!

Since we've now entered the final month of the year, I decided it was a great chance to look back on my "focuses" for 2013.

I wrote about them in this blog: "Focuses for 2013"

They were:

1. Paying off our outside area. Such a lame first focus but we don't have much left to pay and we just want to get it done and dusted!

Verdict: negative. Looking back now we were aiming incredibly high. Financially, we had probably bitten off a bit more then we could chew in hoping that we could pay for a wedding, create a super amazing honeymoon anddddddd pay off the veranda all in one year! This "focus" will now be moved to 2014.
2. Plan our wedding! A whoop! So very incredibly excited that we get married in October THIS YEAR!

Verdict: AMAZEBALLS! I can't believe that there were so many things to organise that I had enough writing material to create a weekly "Don't Tell the Guests" segment. There were times when I wondered whether all of the planning and moolah would really be worth throwing a party for other people get drunk at, but the truth was, it was SOOO much more than that! Our wedding day truly was the best day of our lives to date. To spend quality time with your guests as they arrive, and then to walk down the aisle towards your husband with 160 beady eyes of your loved ones watching you, while then declaring your love for each other in a hand written ceremony, posing for photos, and partying the night away doing silly dances, listening to hysterical speeches, throwing bouquets and garters was AWESOME!

3. Choosing, saving and planning a super amazing honeymoon! A whoop! We're currently tossing up ideas between going around Australia for 3 months and popping overseas! Decisions, decisions!

Verdict: SUPER DOOPERLY EXCITING!

We're off to NEW ZEALAND in February for 3 weeks! While I wished it would HURRY UP ALREADY, we certainly needed the time to save our pennies to be able to do all of the amazing activities that we have planned!

We're hiring a 4 berth winnebago  (you know the saying, when the Winnebago's rockin' giggle) and cruising from the North to the South Island, going on fishing charters, floating down caves peaking at glow worms, flying in helicopters up to the glaciers to play in the snow, testing out our nerves of steel while white water rafting in Queenstown, chillaxing in the hot springs, cruising down the Milford Sound and so much more!

First stop - Bay of Islands! Via

Second stop - Waitomo Caves!

Sixth Stop - Milford Sound

Fifth Stop - White Water Rafting in Queenstown!

Third stop - Rotorua Hot Springs! Via

Fourth Stop - Fox Glaciers Via

4. For me, making some new friends when we move home.

Verdict: I've met some superly nice, amazing, genuine people since moving home, including my new work mates, team mates from netball, people on fundraising committees, and reuniting with old friends.
5. Skype my old friends in Adelaide regularly!

Verdict: Thanks to modern technology it's super easy to keep in touch with friends. I love a good Skype date and have even been known to have a "dinner date" with 700kms between us!

Even though I'm not geographically close to some of my best friends, we're still very much a part of each others lives (in fact sometimes we joke that we speak and see each other more now that I live at home!)

6. Being healthy - I don't mean healthy as in go on some crazy diet, or something totally out there like committing to exercise everyday (it's just not going to happen), I just mean being happy, taking deep breaths when things get a little stressful, and putting things in perspective healthy. Healthy for me is more about being happy than being stick thin.

Verdict: I must admit that this is one that I definitely need to work on. I think I've started the Couch to 5km challenge 3 times - turns out it's a whole lot harder to get this butt off the couch then what I've first thought (giggle!) I'm super proud that I have gotten to the point where I feel comfortable reducing my depression medication, but I am also a little disappointed that I have allowed myself to get way too stressed on various occasions. My health is something that is so very important to not only me, but to those closest to me, and we're always on alert. Sometimes I have to remind myself to take a huge step back and to put things into perspective. One thing that I can assure is that I am much more mindful about my health, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.

Sooo... overall I can tick 5 of my 6 "focuses" for 2013 off of my list!

How did you go?

Did you start 2013 with any big dreams or resolutions?

Have you had a chance to reflect on any of them?

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx