Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Friday, 27 December 2013

What if we Couldn't have Kids?

Baby making is very often taken for granted.

Let's face it, many of us spend our teenage years and early twenties trying everything in our power not to fall pregnant.

Then the jokes turn to practicing to make perfect and enjoying life without children but then somewhere along the way, we begin to become a little more serious about this whole baby thing.

It begins to become less scary and more fun and exciting.

Something changes and you feel ready.

Well, I'm assuming that's how it happens as we're not quite at the ready stage, probably more the less scary part.

But one thing that is starting to play on my mind is what happens when you are ready and raring to toss the contraception aside and nothing happens?

It still astounds me that with all of the awareness of IVF and couples having trouble falling  pregnant that so many people still ask so when are you planning on starting a family?

What happens if someone replied with we can't fall pregnant or we don't want kids?

I have to remind myself that it's just a conversation starter but I'm sure those questions could also be heart breakers to some people.

What if you weren't meant to have children or you discovered that there was a problem with either yourself or your partner and things were going to be a little trickier then some simple rumpy pumpy?

I mean of course we hear stories of people needing IVF but surely we aren't one of those such couples... But then again, I'm sure those that have needed it thought the same.

Or what happens when everyone around you starts falling pregnant seemingly easily and you're having trouble?

Yes I'm starting to watch my biological clock and am realizing that soon I'll be 26. Yes I'm aware that people don't always fall pregnant straight away in fact my mum took a year to fall preggas with me and she didn't have endometriosis or any known condition that may make it hard.

Is it naive to think that falling pregnant happens as soon as you are ready for it too?

I've been starting to wonder whether my husband and I should start taking tests now, even when babies are still little sparkles in our eyes, to know what we might be up against?

They might come back clear and be good to go when we're done perfecting, or we might find out that we may have some trouble and one or both of us should start taking the necessary steps to ready ourselves.

Maybe I'm over thinking the whole thing or maybe I'm just a little less naive.

I did ask my husband the other day what happens if we can't and we both kind of just paused in silence because we've never thought of it as an option.

I asked if he'd hate me if I couldn't.

Of course he said no, but it's definitely something that plays on my mind.

Have you had similar thoughts? Have you found out you'll have trouble  conceiving? How did you cope with this?

Did you ever have tests to see if you and your partner were fertile?

I've definitely noticed that I've stopped asking and assuming about baby making to couples, because it's something so personal and you just never know what silent challenges they might be up against.

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxxx

1 comment:

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

I too thought it would happen when I was ready. But five years of trying and on our third IVF (traveling across the country to see the best doc in the country)…I'm living proof that it doesn't happen easily for everyone. One in six couples experience infertility and it's heartbreaking and crippling. I'm glad to hear that people are becoming more conscience of their fertility at a younger age. I wish I would have. Great post, Kristy.