Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

Changing Priorities

How have your priorities changed over time?

What would you say are your priorities?

I was thinking about these things the other day.

A couple of years ago I would've felt satisfied if I woke up on a Sunday morning with sore feet proving that I'd danced my ass off, blisters from wearing killer high heels, a throbbing headache from one too many beverages, a camera beside my bed full of random, yet highly entertaining photos that I'd captured the night before and had drunkingly looked through and laughed at while falling into bed, scrabbling for my phone to see who i had drunken dialled, an empty lasagna dish from which I'd purged myself on with the major munchies after being out, potentially garlic breath from a yiros that I had smashed along Hindley street, a going out purse that i'd assess that nights damage with and either shudder if i saw eftpos receipts or cheer if i had any money left at all ( and even better if I had more in it then what I'd started the Saturday night with!) and probably one hell of a mess to clean up from where I'd pulled all of my clothes out of my cupboard to find the perfect outfit the night before and plastic cups, empty bottles, and pizza boxes from pre drinking.

Now, 2 years on, that exact scenario sounds like my worst nightmare.

I now feel completely satisfied if I wake up Sunday morning feeling refreshed and revitalised after a great nights sleep, ready to attack the day head on with a clean thinking mind, and full of vitality, with no hangover what so ever insight!

I'd lay in bed reminiscing about the Saturday night that we spent entertaining guests at our house, with the pot belly cranked, Webber fired up, and board games a plenty, as we sat around our outside area sharing stories, chuckling over past memories, making predications for the future, competing girls versus boys and couples versus couples in nail biting intensity, yet highly entertaining imaginative and creative thinking while playing Pictionary, Clue Do and the like! Of course, beverages are still a plenty, but gone are the days of setting out to 'get smashed' and now it's more steadily paced drinking between conversations. Background music would be playing, but at a noise level that you can finish the night with a voice that isn't hoarse from yelling in the ear of the person sitting right next to you! The night would come to an end when the yawns outweighed the conversation, bellies were full from food and beverages, jaws were sore from laughing, everyone was over playing board games, and people started calculating how much sleep they'd get and deciding that they'd rather call it quits while the going is good, so that they can also have a fun and productive Sunday!

Oh how my priorities have changed. I guess it's just something that comes with time, and cough, maturity; changing priorities that is.

Sometimes it's hard to relate to your partner, or your friends when you have different priorities.

It's always easier when you and your partner are on the same page, working together towards making shared goals and dreams come true. I think that one of the main reasons that couples fight, and potentially break up or divorce, is because their priorities change, or they have different priorities ie the man maybe working hard towards paying off a mortgage while the wife is spending money on commodities or the guy is keen to hit the town with his friends every weekend while the girl is keen to start settling down and spending time at home cuddling on the couch.

It's therefore important to discuss your priorities with your partner, in order to make sure that you are ultimately working towards the same big things together. Of course, that doesn't mean that you still can't have your own individual goals, but it just means that you have a primary focus together, and secondary focuses work around this.

Sometimes I think it is really hard as your friends start getting different priorities, as it is often hard to understand or relate to how and why people do things in a certain order or in different ways to you.

For example, my partner and I found it difficult when we first bought our house and had to start paying a mortgage. None of our close friends owned homes, so of course, their focus and priorities were all about going out, entertaining, wining and dining, holidaying and purchasing nice goodies. All of a sudden, we became house proud, and started spending our time, money and energy on renovating, and pumping money into our house. We had to start saying no and skipping certain events in order to pump money into our investment.

As you could imagine, this sometimes caused friction! But, as our friends start to also buy homes, they are beginning to understand just how their priorities are also changing.

I guess at the end of the day, it's just a fact of life that people are going to grow up at different stages, and experience a variety of challenges, all at differing times, but the best thing to do is to try not to compare yourselves to each other, and to accept that priorities do change, and that's okay.

I'd much rather sit on the couch in my trackies and uggies with a cup of green tea, writing my blog on a Sunday rather then being out and about!!!

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx


Sasha said...

I think we're growing up! On Saturday night, as I was wrapped in my dressing gown, I could hear people arriving at the pub near my house and I thought, "I couldn't think of anything worse right now that getting smashed!" And then I ate my pasta and put away my laundry and started a new book...yes, priorities have certainly changed and it..actually feels good. Good on you for putting it down in writing and that it's normal, this "growing up" business...

We should grab a green tea sometime.

Eesh said...

I couldn't agree more. A few years ago I was all about partying but I got my ish together and prefer chilling with my family & the honey instead. The occasional meet up with friends is cool but I'd much rather have a quiet day/night at home...with board games or video games or even plain ol cable lol

Growing up doesn't really suck...you just have to know how to spend your "grown up life".