Unspoken Conversations are the topics that are often swept under the carpet, whispered amongst the closest of friends and bitched about by many. I want to create awareness about difficult things that people face in life; grief, mental health, money, illnesses, family troubles, relationship difficulties and putting yourself first. I want to tell the truth about things that really matter.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Is it okay to bitch?

This is NOT the type of award that you want to win unless of course you are proud of your bitching ability. Via

Don't you just wish that you were a boy sometimes? Despite the ability to be able to flop it out and wee anywhere, anytime with no shame whatsoever, they also have this no tolerance, anti bitch radar. Instead of Chinese whispering about omg can you believe that such and such did such and such to such and such, they might have a biff, then laugh it off with a beer. In fact, the majority of boys don't think into things like girls do. They take things for face value and don't read between the lines ( or maybe they are just distracted by the Simpsons on TV or thinking about their next beer). Okay, okay, I generalise but you get the point.

Girls on the other hand should be magicians; they have this amazing ability to turn a mountain into a mole hill or to make words magically appear into sentences or to over analyse everything.

Which leads me to my next question; is it okay to bitch?

My mummy always told me that what goes around comes around.

Does that mean that if you bitch, then you are opening yourself up to being bitched about?

How do you feel when you find out that someone has been bitching about you? Even though we may say that we don't care, we do. It hurts. Do you really want to make people feel that way?

I laughed - maybe I am a bitch?     Via
For me, bitching is speaking about someone you know with the intent to hurt them. It's not just letting off steam about work, or the  price of eggs, or the weather, THAT'S RANTING (haha), bitching is being MEAN to or about someone.

I guess it always puzzles me when I hear adults bitch. If you really don't like the person then don't let them enter your life through your conversations. Let other people make up their mind about the person based on their experiences with them.

If it's a good friend then should you really be bitching about them anyway? What are you trying to achieve by bitching? If it's bothering you that much then you need to grow some balls and tell the person . If you truly care about them then you need to let them know that they are hurting you so that they can change their behaviour.

I know there's some kind of relief in venting, but just be careful on who you vent to. The chances are that it will get back to the person.

Focus on all of the positive things that the person does, think about their circumstances and why they might be acting in a certain way but try not to bitch about them...unless of course, you feel comfortable with being bitched about.

I also laughed so HARD at this because I ALWAYS get the words wrong when singing! Via

Look after yourself and those around you,

Kirsty xxx


Marianna Dunn said...

get it girl - in my humble opinion, it's always okay to bitch! :)

Anonymous said...

I actually have a good question - what if You confronted the person and they continue with their annoying behavior? Does that give you the right to bitch? Though normally I do not bitch, I definitely do after I've confronted someone and haven't seen an improvement.

Anonymous said...

I also like your definition of bitching .. Because when I talk about someone behind someone's back it's because I'm letting off steam as I don't know what to do with them give theyre being an ass / bitch. Haha

Kirsty Arnold said...

Great question. It's easy sometimes to just want to unleash your hurt, because when you hear that someone has bitched about you, it hurts, and blurt out verbal dirreoha...but for me, I try to remember 3 things before I open my mouth (and trust me, I'm not perfect at this in anyway):

1. I try to think about my relationship with the person. Do I really want mean words circulating around about them long after I have let off steam and gotten over the reason that I was bitching in the first place? Do I want to risk a friendship by blurting out dark and horrible things about them?

I guess if it's a good friend who has said something, and you confront them, and they continue, then you might have to confront them again a little sterner, and tell them how you feel - before you push them away.

If it's someone that you're not close too - I guess it's easier to unleash - and distance yourself from that person - because really - who needs people who are being negative about them in their life in you have a choice?

2. Words are often lost in translation - yup, good old chinese whispers - do I want to blurt stuff out to someone, who might just feel the need to tell someone else, but slightly twist my words, that get back to the person and really truly hurt them?

3. Pick the person you vent/bitch to. I my partners are good sound boards because you can trust them not to start the chinese whisper process... why have you chosen that particular person? Do you want to change their opinion too? Are they good friends with the person?